Personal Musings/The End of an Era

Personal musings

I am taking a break from writing about illness for a week. In the years that I have been doing my weekly emails, some of the posts have been personal stories. Those are often the ones that have gotten the warmest responses. For you loyal readers this one's for you. I am one of the lucky people who until this week still had my childhood home. With such a transient society I know how rare that is. Especially at my age.  My family moved into our house when I was four years old. Since I met my husband when we were both teens, the house was also part of his life for almost 43 years. It was the hub, for my sisters, daughters,nieces, nephews, friends and neighbors. Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania is a hilly city. One of my mother's important criteria for choosing a home was picking one on the flat side of the street. With the new house, there was only one step up onto the porch in order to get to the front door. Once residence was established, there was often a pause to sit on the front porch swing before going in. Mom was in her thirties when my parents bought the house. Her insistence that they pick a house with an easy entry wasn’t for her. Although it would be a relief not to have to schlep her cello up a flight of stairs, she was thinking about her older relatives and friends who would visit. I don’t think she was planning for her own future, but having an easily accessible house ended up enabling both of my parents to live out their years there. It was a magic house. It was infused with a welcoming, loving atmosphere. It was also filled with stuff. We called it the house of requirements. If there was something you needed for an art project or a costume, it was somewhere in the house. One of the many medicine cabinets likely had just the medication you needed. In the house were any number of games and books on every subject. A  romance with the classic muscled Fabio on the cover (mom called these her key to relaxation) would share the shelf with physics textbooks and poetry books from the 1800s. There were enough children’s books and toys to keep the generations of grandchildren and great grandchildren captivated. There were pets, of course! This included many cats, fish, gerbils and birds. There were musical instruments of all kinds. Better yet, people actually played them! There was a trove of old photos and hand written letters. Thousands.  My mom passed away 3 years ago and it has taken that long to carefully clear out the house. My older sister was the local one and she insisted on honoring every item by finding a home for it. It was a herculean effort. Nothing was carelessly discarded. Now, finally it is empty. Interestingly, it turns out that even though it is has been cleared out, the echoes of joy and love remain. The imprint of the positive energy is just as strong. It is hard to let go of the house but it's time. It is the end of an era. Change is hard. We can’t stand in it’s way. We  can just do our best to handle it gracefully. Here is a piece that I wrote about the house and one special piece of furniture. The Diaper Dan Drawers My grandmother Flora Isaacs lived on Darlington Road, just a few blocks away from the house where my own family lived. Our Pittsburgh roots go way back. Her father, Morris Meyers, moved there in 1860 and also lived for a time in the same triplex as my grandmother. For the record, their house was on the hilly side of the street. It was a long and steep set of steps getting up to the house. When we would visit grandma, my mother’s childhood bedroom held a certain allure. The furniture was dark antique wood and included a large vanity with an enormous mirror. It is a lovely, but odd piece of furniture. It is too low to sit in front of it on a regular chair. One must sit on a very low stool in order to make use of the surface and mirror. There are two large drawers on either side. My sister Marjie named them the ‘Diaper Dan’ drawers. I have absolutely no idea where that moniker came from, but the Diaper Dan Drawers they were. Grandma would store all sorts of odd and ends in those drawers. We were allowed to take whatever we wanted. Good move wise grandmother; what a simple way to rid yourself of junk! These drawers became our treasure chest. When we would get to grandma's, we would say our hellos and then scamper upstairs to see if there was anything of interest that had appeared in the drawers. One item that comes to mind was a porcelain bowl in the shape of a set of hands. I thought they were beautiful.  We carefully wrapped them and bestowed them as a gift to our mother for her birthday. She couldn’t contain her laughter. Of course it had been a gift to her from a long ago boyfriend. Who knows where it had been all those years, until grandma was cleaning up and tucked in in the drawer. This time my mom kept it. It stayed on the dresser in her bedroom and was used as a container for the odd safety pin or general  knickknacks. (When we were dividing the family treasures after mom died, I kept the hands.) When my grandmother was in her 90’s she moved in with my parents for her final years. Some of her furniture, including the Diaper Dan drawers came with her.  Alas, time passed, Grandma was gone, my parents were gone, the difficult decision was made to sell the house. We embarked on the epic task of emptying it of all the stuff and furniture. The sisters and grandchildren routinely gathered to clear and sort. “ Do you want this? No! Do you?” “What on earth is that?” My daughter Alana was clearly the easy mark. She had a hard time refusing things that were connected to the house. Because of that there are boxes with her name on it, stored in our garage. These are filled with mystery items for when the time comes that she has room for them. Lauren was quicker to say "no thanks", but my dad's barometer is now on the wall of her house and she has her own collection of mystery cartons in her garage. The letters and photos were taken in boxes to my sisters house. The local historical society took its share of things as well. One by one things were claimed. We had a “give it away day” and family, friends and neighbors came and chose mementos. The process continued until there was almost nothing left. Just  like kids being picked to be on the sports teams at the playground, there was something sad about being the last one selected. No one chose  the Diaper Dan drawers. Then, the magic continued. It was as if the house got to choose it’s new family.. There was no need to have it listed with an agent. Friends knew friends. A lovely family had been searching for the right home for two years. The new mom nodded in approval that there are no steps; her older relatives will have no trouble visiting. The new children scampered around the house claiming which rooms would be theirs. When asked, the family said, "Sure! The Diaper Dan drawers, as well as some of the books, are welcome to stay." They gathered and listened as I told them the story of the drawers. There are treasures waiting in the drawers for them when they move in later this month! I wish the new owners as much love and happiness in the house as we had.