A message from Beyond/ But perhaps, useful only if you are trying to learn to sound a shofar

 This week, I had some folks over to help celebrate the Jewish New Year. One friend brought his collection of Shofars. A shofar is typically made of a ram’s horn and making the sound is a ritual during the high holidays. Some describe it as a spiritual ‘wake-up’ call. The pure sound from someone who is skilled can be tremendously moving. Unsuccessful attempts fall into the nails on on a chalkboard, or someone just learning to play the violin, category.

As I was holding a shofar, an old anecdote came to mind.

As some of you are aware, I have collection of odd but true stories that I am going to compile into a book one of these days. This is one of those.

Back in 2014, Lauren was home for a short but glorious visit. While she was here she took the opportunity to poke through long buried piles of papers that had been tucked away in the bottom of her closet.

Not surprisingly, she unearthed some treasures.

There were several shoe boxes stuffed full of letters. At one point she called me in to take a look at an one old letter that she had randomly selected out of the hundreds. It was a correspondence from my parents dated September 1993. 

My father's segment of the letter was “vintage Grandpa”

He loved to problem solve and loved to teach. He had just figured out the best way to teach someone to sound a shofar and he was eager to share it.

Dear Lauren,

The best way to learn how to do something better and better is to teach other people how to do it. By teaching your cousins how to blow the shofar, I discovered that if I can pfubpfupfub my lips, I get a good sound. I cant wait to teach you…….

The very next day after Lauren had found that note from her grandparents, I called my nephew Asher to wish him a happy birthday. I told him about the letter. What I didn’t know was that when Asher had been in Pittsburgh a month earlier, he had found my dad’s shofar and had been encouraged to take it with him back to Utah; he had been working on learning how to blow it in time for the Jewish holidays.

My dad passed away in 2007. I imagine my father’s spirit watching Asher trying to perfect the sounds, and trying his hardest to get this pfubpfpf message across.

I am glad he found a way.

So, last night, I took hold of a shofar, I channeled my dad….did the pfubpffub and was able to make a sound. The coyotes who live in the woods across the street responded in kind.

This is a ‘truah’ story. For all of you who understand that little play on words, Shana Tova!

The weeks model is 7 month old Coby; the shofar temporarily distracted him from his mission, which is to pull himself up to a standing position on anything in his path.

Family Dinners

 So many parents already have a full to-do list and are not really in the market for ‘one more thing’ that they are ‘supposed to do’.

I hear you, but bear with me for a moment.

There is more and more research out there that eating together as a family can have a real impact.

The benefits include:

• lower rates of overweight and obesity, substance abuse, teen pregnancy, depression, and eating disorders

• Higher self esteem and better academic performance. Those who have family meals are shown to have a better vocabulary

Kids who eat together with the family also tend to eat a wider variety of foods.

It certainly doesn’t need to be daily. Even 3 or 4 nights a week can make a difference. It also doesn’t even have to be dinner! Maybe your family work schedule can only manage a 10 minute breakfast! The point is that you set your intention that at least several times a week, you will have a family meal. If the thought of this is stressing you out, start small. Even one meal together is better than nothing.

One of the best things about this family time is simply an opportunity for connection.

Try to put the phones and screens away. This means no television playing in the background!

If the phone rings:

Hey if this isn’t urgent, I will call you back in an hour. We are having our family meal.

Don’t underestimate the message that your kids are hearing from this. The time with them matters and you are making it a priority.

Make it understood that this is a time when the family is sitting together.  It is about more than eating. Even if one person is just moving the food around their plate, their presence is important. 

Although I am aware that there are social media posts warning you against asking the very basic How was your day? Sometimes that might be the only question that you have the energy for.

But if you want to get beyond one word answer of Fine, then here are some potential talking points…

What was something you did today that was kind?

Did you learn anything new? 

Did something surprise you?

Did anything interesting happen?

Did anything funny happen?

Or focus on the senses.

Did you smell something especially good or yucky?

Did you notice something beautiful?

Did you notice any interesting textures?

There should be no obligation to participate if they don’t want to, but they can still listen to everyone else.

With any new thing, trying to get everyone to gather at one time may feel like you are herding cats. Offer a transition time to dinner so that you are not yanking them away from whatever they are doing.

10 minutes until dinner...etc

Maybe have a collection of fun placemats (you can make some as art projects) and let one kid be in charge of which ones you will use and then have everyone help set the table. 

In general, knowing how to set a table is a good skill that many people lack.

You will likely find that once the ritual is established, it is easier to get everyone to the table.

Have them help pick out the menu, or help cook.

If you want your kid to be able to make an omelet when they go off to college, having them start young will help them become much more self-sufficient.

To keep the drama to a minimum, have a ‘no thank you’ bowl, where they can deposit food that they don’t want to eat, rather than whining or tossing it.

Give positive attention when they are eating what everyone else is eating, but have a safe food at the ready if they are having ‘that kind of day’

If you can get the family meal ritual set when the kids are young, you have a better chance of keeping it going as your kids get older. Having these opportunities for connection and communication can be invaluable

Thanks to my mom, I did grow up with nightly family meals. But full disclosure, I was not at all consistent with it with my own kids (and they are stellar human beings none the less!)

Looking back, that is one thing I would have done differently.

Even beyond the research, instinctively it feels like a really positive and worthwhile effort.

Picky Eating 2024

 As some of you know, Dr. Ted and I are working on a document addressing the ins and outs of starting solid foods. We are not trying to reinvent the wheel. There will be plenty of links to topics where there is already an existing post. One of those topics is dealing with picky eaters. 

But, when I reviewed my old picky eating post, it felt a bit outdated. Hence this fresher edition. 

I asked my daughter Lauren to weigh in with her wisdom. She is clearly doing something right (okay, perhaps we can add a dollop of luck since every child is so different) but so far I marvel at what an adventurous eater my oldest grandson EJ is. Sushi, Ethiopian, Burmese…. Bring it on! He tries just about anything. Hopefully Coby will follow in his big brother’s footsteps. So far so good.

Picky eating 2024

There are plenty of parents out there who swear that their toddlers simply don't eat. Amazingly enough, these same kids are growing and developing just fine.

It is more common than you might think for young kids to be erratic eaters. There are days when they eat whatever is in front of them and others where parents celebrate if they eat two bites.

It doesn’t matter that it is normal, it stresses parents out!

There are things you can do to start off on the right track.

Offer a variety

Some experts say that toddlers and preschool kids identify foods as either "familiar" or unfamiliar. If they haven't tried it before, this is not the age when they are apt to become adventurous eaters. For this reason I strongly encourage you to offer an assortment of foods to your children their first year of life. Make sure you are giving them a variety of colors, shapes and consistencies. Although I really advise about adding any extra salt, other spices are fair game. Add as many foods as possible to the list of things that they are comfortable with before they move into that stubborn toddler phase. 

If your nine month old seems to be having trouble with the mechanics of eating, it is worth having a conversation with your pediatrician so see about getting a referral to an appropriate resource.

Be aware of the power of attention

The "quest for attention" is something that has its own blog post, but for our purposes here, trust me, kids love attention of any sort. If they find that they can get a big rise out of mom or dad when they don't eat, well you guessed it, they will ignore the food and sit back to watch "the make my parents nuts" show. Avoid that trap if you can.

It is NOT the intent to be making mealtimes all about how much kids are actually eating, but little appropriate bits of positive attention can go a long way.

Make sure you are noticing behaviors that you want to see more of. 

Hey, let's feel your muscles because you just did such a good job eating that nice 'growing food. 

Did you eat carrots? That is so good for your sparkly eyes! 

I see you taking small bites, chewing and swallowing. That is nice safe eating! (and give a nice thumbs up signal)

 Making sure that they overhear you tell someone about what you saw, also counts

Grandma, I am so proud that ____ tried something new

If there is another child nearby, take full advantage of the opportunity and praise good eating observations; chances are your child won't want to be left out. If they see you making a fuss over someone else it usually doesn't take long before they are modeling the same behavior 

Look, I ate my broccoli too, feel MY muscles.

Behaviors that you want to see less of should be ignored within reason.

Oh, you are tossing your food on the floor, that means you aren't hungry. That shows me that you are finished eating, I am going to take the food away now.

Make sure you are quiet and matter of fact. Don't make a huge fuss. You can give them another chance in a bit. With many behavior challenges, consistency is key. It might take a dozen times until they realize you mean what you say.

Give them a better option. Offer  a ‘no thank you’ bowl. This is a place where they can deposit food that they don’t want to eat rather than throwing it on the floor.

Eating with the family is a bonus. Try to make mealtimes a positive experience. Talk about everyone’s day. Focus should be on being together rather than how many peas someone eats.

Below are some tried and true tips that may help you along.

Give your kids very small amounts that they can actually finish. You can always add more. Many kids will get overwhelmed by too much on their plate and won't even have any of it.

Not every meal has to be a performance, but there are things you can do to encourage kids to try new things. 

Make a face out of the food, 2 peas for the eyes, a piece of chicken for the nose,... etc. Make it a game, and laugh when they eat part of your design. 

There are plates that you can buy that have pictures or faces that can get uncovered when they eat.

 You can also consider making your own place mats. Blow up some photos of your family, laminate them and use them accordingly. 

Let's see if we can eat the tofu and find mommy's face.

Use cookie cutters to make your sandwiches into interesting shapes. 

Make a meal with a theme. One meal can be things that are orange, another day you can do things that are curly. 

Make smoothies with all sorts of wonderful ingredients. See if your toddler wants to help drop things into the blender and help turn on the power. Pour the smoothie into a special super hero cup that is used only for the super hero drink.

 Many kids like to dip things. Little sticks of assorted veggies that they can dip into some hummus or yogurt dip makes a nice healthy snack. 

Some kids like adding grated cheese to food. They can sprinkle it or get a safe grater and let them do it themselves

Muffin tins make great little food trays, especially for those kids that don't want their different foods to touch, heaven forbid.

Kids like to eat things that they have helped with. 

Get in the habit of good handwashing before handling food.

Kids with long hair should have it tied back.

Make sure you have a safe stool that allows them to easily reach the counter

Invest in some safe kids cooking tools, so that they can be even more hands on.

Allow them to sprinkle spices (again, try to minimize the use of salt).

Put the desired amount in small separate bowls so that you don’t need to worry about them dumping an absurd amount of something directly from the jars.

 Stirring the food is another helpful job.

When your children are old enough (this is especially useful if you have more than one) let them take turns being on the "make the meal team". No one else is allowed in the kitchen except the chefs. Make an event out of it. Put on your matching aprons.

They can even decorate a menu.

Not everything you try is going to be a complete success.

I did a little experiment with Elliot. I brought out some food coloring to see if we could make a meal a little exciting.

Here are some of the things I learned

• Trying to get a 3 year old to limit anything to 1 or 2 drops is a challenge

• Mixing 2 colors is great (and a fun way to learn about primary colors) but it is so hard to stop at two or even 3..more often than not we ended up with various shades of brown

• Drinking rainbow milk is fun

• Let other caregivers know what you were up to so that they aren’t surprised by the fascinating poops that come from drinking that rainbow milk

• The color will come off your hands with a good scrub of soap and water. If it is stubborn, you can rub a little toothpaste on it and then rewash with soap. Talking about that process in advance would have been wise.

Mealtimes should not be 24/7

Some experts suggest that kids who have the option of grazing all day may not do as well at meal times and this can contribute to picky eating.

Toddlers and preschoolers tend to accept the concept that there are times when the ‘The kitchen is open’ and other times when ‘The kitchen is closed’. It is fine to create new rules. They will get used to it.

They don’t really have a clear concept of time, but this is more like a red light green/light concept.

Drinking water is always an option if they want something in between meal or snack times.

You can also add a “last call” ; This can get rid of the bedtime delay tactic of I’m still hungry.

A note about bedtime snacks

A nice snack before bed can become part of the nightly routine. This would be right before toothbrushing.

 It can fill in any nutritional needs they might have missed during the day. 

Try to avoid anything high in sugar, but a high protein snack can actually help with a good night’s sleep. 

A cup of warm milk contains tryptophan, which also might help with sleep.

You can ‘hide’ food (but don’t lie about it)

You can sneak ground up veggies into pancakes, breads, muffins or meatballs

If your little one is genuinely having a hard time getting enough calories, consider adding some pediasure.com 

Sugar and Dessert

I like to refer to food as “growing food” or not. If your child eats a reasonable amount of growing food, it is fine to offer an occasional dessert. Please don’t associate it with a reward or “being good”. It's a delicate balance. I have found that If you completely make sweets unattainable, they become much more interesting.

Nothing but Noodles

If you have one of those kids that is set on only one or two food groups that they accept willingly, be prepared to have one of their ‘safe’ foods as a backup.

Family rule might be that they try one bite of what the rest of the family is eating (applause for trying).

If they don’t like it, calmly offer the noodles (or whatever it is they like to eat). Try to avoid turning it into a power struggle.

The ultimate goal?

Helping your child have a healthy relationship with food!

I hope some of these tips are helpful.

Thanks to my models, EJ, Coby and Sawyer

Solid Food post coming soon/Input welcome

 I am slowly working on writing a book.

It is not the book about the typical Nurse Judy topics, such as germs, fevers and common illnesses. Instead the subject is spirits and stories about inexplicable occurrences… stay tuned.

But I still enjoy writing my standard posts that might offer support to parents.

I am delighted to meet up with Dr. Ted on a regular basis so we can put our heads together and delve into different issues.

We are currently trying to create a thorough document that will help out any parent who is embarking on the solid foods journey.

Starting solids actually used to rank pretty low on my favorite things to talk about. When I was an office advice nurse, parents had so many questions about it and I never felt like I had enough time in the course of a standard 10 minute phone call to give them all the answers they were seeking. 

Ultimately, because the demand was so strong,  I started offering an hour-long solid foods class. The goal was to try to get parents to relax and to navigate through all the strong opinions and judgments when it comes to what to feed, when to feed and how to feed.

I stopped holding that class several years ago.

Since attending my class was no longer an option, parents have reached out to let me know that they searched my blog for a post on starting solids and haven’t found one. Alas, for the time being, that search still comes up empty. While there are some posts on specific topics, I never did one dealing with the basic ABC’s of feeding your baby.

There is just so much to say.

Now, thanks to Dr Ted’s encouragement, I look forward to adding a new document to my collection. We are in agreement that there is way too much stress about feeding your kids. We hope to alleviate some of that.

Grandparents, friends, and social media often have a list of RULES that can make folks spin around and worry that they must be doing something wrong.

Many people have very strong opinions. When I started doing research to build the curriculum for my class, I ran into someone at a Chinese Medicine clinic. When I told her what I was working on, she got very enthusiastic. She practically started to chant. LIVER, LIVER LIVER, is really all that babies need. It should be the first food for all kids. She practically followed me out of the office, yelling LIVER!

While indeed, offering kids liver might have some actual benefits, being exposed to such passionate thoughts about what is right and wrong is NOT my approach.

In fact, during my solids class I would tell a story about no matter how hard you try to be ‘perfect’, in most cases at some point your child was likely to eat something that was completely disgusting (and they survive).

In my case what comes to mind was the time our daughter Lauren shared a meal of meow mix cat food crunchies with a siamese cat named George.

How did I become aware of this? Because Sandy videotaped the interaction. (This was long before cell phones. He was holding a large camcorder. Times have changed.)

One for me/ one for you/another for me/another for you.

Oh, daddy. I surely would have put the camera down and redirected. Sandy defends himself by reminding me that we wouldn’t have that memory if he hadn’t continued recording.

(George the cat ended up becoming ours, but I digress.)

Dr. Ted is now the one trying to field all the questions about starting solids on a daily basis.

Just like we did several months ago with our long breastfeeding document , We are now looking at data and trying to come up with an easy to follow post that maps out our relaxed approach. We are lucky to have the wonderful designer Nancy Elle collaborating with us to make it easy to follow.

We will endeavor to answer all of the frequently asked questions.

When we did the breastfeeding post I put out a request for feedback and got some worthy responses. Some of these included their hard earned wisdom which we included and others requested topics that they wanted us to cover.

So I am once again turning to the hive mind…

For those of you who have successful eaters

• What are your best pieces of wisdom about solid foods that you would share?

• Are there any utensils, tools, apps that were valuable?

• What are the things you wished you knew before you started?

For those of you just starting out, are there any burning questions or concerns that you would like us to cover?

 I look forward to hearing any feedback you are willing to share!!!

With luck we will have a finished product in a month or so.

This photo is Coby, He is now six months and enjoying an assortment of foods.

How to educate your kids about germs/without freaking them out

 Germs are microscopic organisms that can cause disease, and are made up of bacteria, viruses, fungi, and protozoa. They exist in many places, including the air, soil, water, on our skin, and inside our bodies.

Minimizing exposure and risk are in everyone’s best interest, but having a discussion of things that are so tiny that they can only be seen with a microscope may be challenging for kids.

When educating kids about germs, it is important to strike the balance of knowledge, caution and empowerment. I asked my friend Brittany, who is a wonderful therapist to weigh in. 

It is in nobody’s best interest to have your child crippled from anxiety and terrified of these invisible monsters. Even in the best of times, over the years I have seen dozens of kids tormenting their parents as they went through germaphobic stages (that is the actual term!) Lady Macbeth had nothing on these kids as they would scrub their hands raw every time they came into contact with anything suspect.

Knowledge

Here are some kid friendly talking points 

• The world is full of tiny things that we can’t see without a microscope. This might be just the time to read Horton hears a Hoo! There are also loads of great age appropriate books to read specifically about germs. Brittany likes this book and it has the option of being read aloud Germs Make Me Sick! By Melvin Berger.

• Most of the tiny things, including many types of bacteria, are good and important. Some of the tiny things that we can’t see are called germs. These are not so good and are usually considered troublemakers.

• People aren’t generally impacted by germs unless they manage to get into our bodies. If they do get in, they can grow and spread. If you can stop them from getting in, you win!

• Have your kids figure out the openings in their body where the germs can enter; mouth, nose, eyes...maybe even a cut. A germ that gets into a cut can cause an infection, but most viruses are getting in through the face.

• Once the germs get into the body, they might make the person a tiny bit sick or very sick. Sometimes the person with the germs inside doesn’t feel sick at all but is still able to spread the germs to someone else. Germs are sneaky!

• If a sick person coughs, sneezes, sings or yells near you, you can breathe in the germs through your nose or your mouth. That is one way for the germs to get inside. 

• The longer you are near an infected person, the bigger the chance of breathing in their germs. Luckily the germs don’t stay in the air for too long. 

• Here’s a fun activity: Get out some bubbles and blow a few. Imagine that the bubbles are full of germs. Notice how they float for a while and then land and pop. Once the bubbles land, that surface now has the germs on it. If you touch it and then touch your face, that is another way that the virus has found a way in.

Actions/preventions

Hand washing is key

• It is important to be thorough. Don't forget fingers and  thumbs If you have long nails, make sure to get under them

• We should wash our hands for at least 20 seconds. Hum a song; your kids might have fun finding a favorite little ditty that helps them keep time. Happy Birthday is a popular one

• Running water is much preferred than a bowl of standing water, so that the bacteria gets washed away

• Water temperature doesn’t actually matter

• Damp hands can transfer way more germs than dry ones, so make sure to towel off or use an air dryer after washing.

• Hand sanitizer is not as effective as soap and water, but sometimes that is all you have available. Make sure you use enough to cover the hands, rub around for 20 seconds and make sure you let it dry.

 Other actions

• We should take off our shoes before coming into the house to prevent outside germs from tracking indoors 

• Teach your kids to cover coughs and sneezes. If there is no tissue handy, then cough into your elbow

• Avoid crowds when possible. If someone has any symptoms of illness, please consider wearing a mask when out in public. Mask wearing is a good way to protect you from being exposed. It is also an easy reminder  not to touch your face.

• Stay up to date with immunizations. When I would give shots I would explain to kids that I was putting magic protection into their body so that if certain bad germs got in, this could protect them

What do we do about thumb suckers?

Habits are hard to break.

Here is a link to an earlier blog post. 

As most of you know, nagging doesn’t work.

Talking about germs and doing some fun experiments, might be helpful tools to add to your arsenal

Do some fun experiments.

Glitter is a great example of how things easily spread. 

1. Do this outside (my niece Rose says that glitter is like the herpes of the art world)

2. A playground is perfect.

3. Put a little glitter on your hands

4. Set a timer and play on several pieces of equipment for about 10 minutes.

5. Get out a magnifying glass (it makes it more fun)

6. Retrace your steps and see if you can see little pieces of glitter

A little olive oil and cinnamon can show you the value of soap and water 

1. Mix some cinnamon or nice smelling spice in some olive oil.

2. Coat your hands with the substance. 

3. Now wash it off with just water, no soap. It becomes clear that the oil and scent are not going anywhere, you need a good scrub with soap to get your hands clean.

Soap can make things scatter

1. Get a bowl of water

2. Sprinkle in some black pepper

3. Stick your finger in the bowl and you might indeed see how some pepper sticks to the finger

4. Wipe the pepper off of the finger

5. Now rub some liquid soap on your finger

6. Stick the finger in the bowl and watch how the pepper scatters

You can see how cool this one is on this short video on youtube 

Bottom line

Brittany kindly reminds us that the point of this post is to educate and empower our children.  If you are dealing with a child that seems especially stressed about the existence of these microscopic threats, first validate that what they are feeling is perfectly alright.  Remind them that there are always things within and outside of our control. By focusing on the things within our control their big feelings will get smaller (see talking points above). 

If you’re a parent who gets the creepy crawlies just thinking about germs, your personal discomfort might contaminate the conversation. If that is the case see if you can pass on this particular task on to another trusted adult.

My covid Tale/ Remedies for common symptoms

 I am just getting over my second bout of Covid. Amazingly, I still know a handful of people who claim they have never had it. Those lucky ‘novids’ are becoming rarer and rarer. While I was sick this time around, I found myself frequenting some Reddit communities. There was some comfort in seeing that others were going through the same stuff that I was dealing with; It was also interesting to see what folks were doing to allay some of the symptoms. Most importantly perhaps, it was a safe place to simply whine.

For those of you out there, like me who are interested in trying to figure out the covid trends, this post is for you.

My personal Covid History

I managed to avoid Covid altogether until April 2023 when it finally caught up with me. It couldn’t have happened at a more inconvenient time. Sandy and I were on a small cruise in the Galapagos. When Sandy got a sore throat he decided to use one of the tests that we had brought with us. There were quite a few older passengers on board and he didn’t want to take any chances of spreading anything. We were pretty horrified when the test turned positive. He reported his results to the ship’s doctor and was understandably quarantined to the stateroom. I was negative so I still had free reign for another couple of days as long as I was masked. Clearly he caught it from someone on the ship, but most people weren’t testing. Sandy and I tried hard to stay as far from each other as we could manage, but we were sharing a stateroom, with one bed. At night, we built a wall of pillows between us. Spoiler alert, to no one’s surprise, that didn’t work. After 2 days, I tested positive and we were quarantined together. We spent the remainder of the time on the ship looking out our giant window, counting turtles in the ocean and watching birds. Add in amazing room service and I imagine there are worse places to be stuck.

The final night, the staff on the ship closed off the upper deck, so that we and one other couple who had tested positive could dine under the stars. We laughed together when we discovered that they too had tried the pillow wall. That effectively doubled our statistical analysis. Pillow walls don’t work at eliminating transmission.

When the cruise was over we were moved to a hotel in Quito Ecuador. The altitude there is 9300 feet. There were no more turtles. Sandy was bored and had nothing better to do than check my temp and oxygen what felt like every ten minutes with his newfangled electronic gizmos. My temp was high. My oxygen saturation was low. It sucked on so many levels. We got through it.

Covid Redux

Lauren and Family came up for a visit in early July. One of my joys was the mornings. Lauren would bring me 4 month old Coby between 6:00 and  6:30 every morning and that time was my private baby snuggle time while the rest of the family slept. Once Elliot woke up I belonged to him. It was a great week.

We went all over the place with the kids. This included all of their favorite SF restaurants, the aquarium, the exploratorium, you name it. We were aware that Covid levels were starting to rise, but no one seemed to be wearing masks.I had gotten a booster in March, so I was optimistic that I still had some protection,

A week into the visit Coby got uncharacteristically fussy. He was somewhat congested and felt a little warm. We tested him on a Thursday morning and he was positive for Covid. How and when the baby got it when the rest of us seemed fine, remains a mystery.

Sandy had knee surgery scheduled the following week. Oy, right? In order to minimize the exposure, the kids packed up and drove home to LA. Between horrible traffic, the miserable baby, the 3 1/2 year old who had really wanted an extra ride on muni and a very large dog. It was NOT a fun drive.

The day after they left I started getting congested. I was very surprised that I was negative.

According to Sandy, I was also snoring loud enough to put our dear departed Uncle Bernie (famous for his sonic level night time noises) to shame. That might be the thing that spared Sandy from ultimately catching it. He moved into Alana’s old room in order to try to get some sleep. I proactively slept there the following night because the post nasal drip and throat tickle were keeping me up. I tested negative again on Sunday.

On Monday, I was clearly sick and sure enough my test had finally confirmed that indeed I had Covid.

This was 3 days after Coby’s positive test. It is hard to know when he started to be contagious and 4 days before Sandy’s prospective surgery.

I was able to do a virtual visit with One Medical that same morning. They gave me a prescription for Paxlovid. Within several hours after the first dose, I was assailed by a horrid taste in my mouth that lasted the entire 5 day course.

My symptoms were firmly in the miserable but not scary category. The first several days were mostly post nasal drip, piercing headache and nausea. Days 3-5 were colored by stuffy ears, a moderate sore throat, brain fog and fatigue. I never had a fever, although there were times when I felt warm.

Sleep was tough simply because of the taste in my mouth. I was up sucking on mints every 30 minutes. Having other people complaining on Reddit about the same issue kept me company during the wee hours. Of course, as with anything on social media, take most of the information with a grain of salt. Avoid going down any rabbit holes that don’t feel positive.

I tested neg on Friday, just 5 days after my positive test. Thank you Paxlovid. My energy is not quite back to normal but is heading in the right direction. Sandy’s surgery went great. All in all I feel fortunate that it wasn’t any worse.

The moment I tested positive, Sandy and I were ships passing in the night; we were masked when we were on the same floor but mostly kept our distance.  We had HEPA Air purifiers running. We were scrupulous with hand washing.

He stayed negative! It can be done.

Remedies.

Congestion/post nasal drip

• I confess to 2 nights of Afrin. This allowed me to breathe but it is making the deal with the devil. Try hard NOT to do it for more than 2 or 3 nights max. But in the beginning the congestion was so thick that I couldn’t even do the neti pot; the Afrin cleared the way. If you overuse Afrin it can cause rebound congestion and it is VERY hard to kick the habit.

• I started Flonase nasal spray

• Netipot/sinus irrigation throughout the day 

• Xlear nasal spray may have some protective properties. It is worth using after an exposure

• My MD suggested Mucinex. I didn’t need it this time but it is worth having on hand.

• Blue Poppy Cold Quell is something Dr Den suggests for all of her covid patients

• Alternate warm and cold compresses to your forehead

• Tap and massage your sinuses just to loosen things up

• Steamy showers

• Humidifier at night

• This may sound gross, but try not to swallow all that mucous. Spit it out, keep a dixie cup or tissue handy.

Nausea

• My sister Amy had covid a week before I did, she got zofran for the nausea. If you find that you can’t eat or stay hydrated, reach out to your doctor for a prescription,

• Ginger chews from Trader Joes, were good for the queasiness and also gave a few moment of relief from the paxlovid mouth

Sore Throat

• Manuka honey

• throat coat tea

• Popsicles

• Lozenges

Nasty taste in the mouth

(some people are more sensitive to this than others. For me it felt like I was chewing on a leather boot that had stepped in dog poop)

• Mints

• Lozenges

• Mini m&ms

• Red hot candies

• my friend Dee-Dee swears that tangerine flavored jellybeans were a game changer

Ear Discomfort

• For the stuffy ears warm garlic oil felt great. 

• The use of flonase will also help with this, but it isn’t instant.

Hydration

• Stay hydrated, I fell in love with aloe juice that I got from Trader Joes

• Other people like coconut water/pedialyte

• ice chips! Amy claims this saved her from going to ER for an IV

• Drink Drink Drink!!

Brain Fog

• Take a break from screens

• Try to get reasonable sleep.

• Vitamin B, D and Beef liver enzymes might be useful

• My friend Oran who is a reflexologist suggests pushing on each fingertip.

Mindfulness

I leaned into gratitude. This time around at least I was home and not impacted by altitude. I didn’t have kids to chase or a job to get to. I had a partner making my garlic oil and tending to me from afar, both of us masked. Dear friends checked in and dropped off soup.

Contagiousness

My son-in-Law Adam tested positive the same day that I did. Like many people reading this, he did indeed have kids to chase as well as a job to deal with. I tip my hat.

Amazingly Lauren and EJ didn’t catch it,

COVID is everywhere right now

Alana had a birthday gathering and she asked people to test before coming.

At least 3 people with no symptoms whatsoever tested and found that they were positive!

Be careful out there!

And sometimes a cold is just a cold

A week later Lauren got a sore throat. It lasted for 2 days. She remained negative

Alana also just had a cold for several days and remained negative, even with a PCR test.

CDC guidelines for isolating.

The updated guidelines lump all respiratory viruses (Flu, Covid, RSV)  together.

If you test positive for any of those, stay home and keep your distance from family members who are healthy.

Once you are fever free for 24 hours without the help of medication you can resume your normal activities.

You should take extra precautions like wearing a good mask, reasonable distancing and great handwashing for another 5 days.

With Covid, there is about a 20% chance of rebounding, especially after Paxlovid, so be quick to test again at the first sign of new symptoms. The rebound is most likely 3-7 days after you thought you were out of the woods.

Keep in mind that PCR tests will likely remain positive for weeks after an illness. They are very useful for figuring things out when you are just starting the illness, but are not a good indicator of whether or not you are still contagious.

What Dr Ted is seeing with his covid patients

Typically the kids have had sore throats and fatigue. Not everyone has a fever.

Most of his patients are similar to what I described; somewhat miserable but not scary.

He has seen some pneumonia so don’t ignore any respiratory distress.

There are some patterns but no rules because everyone's immune system is different.

One thing that is reassuring is that babies under 3 months born to a mom who had a booster in the third trimester have very decent protection. Poor Coby was just past that magic window.

Teething: Common symptoms/An array of remedies/ Not included..the going rate for the tooth fairy

 Typical infants have 20 primary (baby) teeth which have started to develop in the womb. The teeth start to erupt through the gums around 6 months of age. The baby teeth are then shed at various times throughout childhood. At the end of this post, you will find a chart with the typical range of ages when most teeth start to come and go.

Over the years, I have seen kids that didn’t care about the rules, ignored the charts and did things their own way. I know of one baby who was born with teeth! Another started out with the upper canines and looked like a little vampire. As you can imagine, those parents were so happy when the rest of the teeth popped through. There is some heredity involved. If one of the parents was very early or late it is possible for the baby to follow suit. If you are lucky enough to have the option, check with grandma to see if she remembers anything special about your teething pattern!

It is rare for teeth to actually make an appearance before 4 months. Once in a while parents will notice a smooth round white bud on a baby’s gum. This is a little benign cyst called an Epstein Pearl. It is not a tooth and it usually goes away without causing any bother.

Many parents think of teething as something they are only dealing with for their young infants. Think again. If your 6 year old is going through an extremely grumpy phase, or has a mysterious bout of mild, clear congestion that has been hanging on for a few weeks, take a feel in the back of the mouth and see if those first permanent molars are starting to pop through. Once your child reached the age of 21, all 32 of the permanent teeth have usually erupted and they can no longer blame their grumpiness on teething.

Just like the timing varies, the symptoms may also vary greatly from child to child and even from tooth to tooth. By far, the most common first teeth are the ones in the bottom middle (and they are so cute once they come through).

Take your clean finger and run it along your baby’s gum. If the tooth is imminent you may feel that the area of the affected gum feels soft and boggy.

Let's talk about the symptoms.

Many healthcare providers and dentists dispute that there is any real relationship between teething and any of the symptoms below, but I have been an advice nurse for a long, long (long) time. I used to speak to parents of teething babies all of the time, and I maintain that there is a connection.

Fussiness: Teething is uncomfortable. Most parents report that the babies seem fussier than usual right before a tooth pops through. Do what you can to relieve symptoms (see below), but if your baby is inconsolable (screaming with NO break) for more than 30 minutes and there is nothing you can do to calm them down, please call your pediatrician to have them checked. That would be an extreme reaction to blame on teething and it would be good to see if there is something else going on.

Drooling: Drooling starts weeks and sometimes months before you actually see a tooth pop through. Many kids will get a drool rash on their chins and cheeks. There are several products that I find quite useful for this. Clean off the area with a gentle cleanser (Cetaphil is a good brand where there is no water needed, apply with a cotton ball and wipe off). Follow it up with aquaphor, cerave ointment or simple petroleum jelly. You can use any of these multiple times throughout the day. A mild drool rash (flat redness without cracked or broken skin) does not necessarily require treatment. No judgment if you chose not to fuss with it.

Gnawing/biting: Biting on things will feel great to the baby; not so good to your nipples if you are nursing. There are quite a few differing opinions about this, by all means follow your own instincts!

The most gentle parenting approaches will suggest that if your baby starts biting you during feedings, try to stick your finger in their mouth to break the connection, say their name, pat them on the back and then calmly take a break from the feeding. Most babies can be trained to stop this.

However, if the issue persists, I actually recommend a loud “ouch!!” and immediately remove them from the breast. Sometimes you may need to make the association mildly unpleasant to break the habit. Biting = the potentially loud, well deserved yelp and loss of breast! If you are too gentle some babies will think it is quite amusing and will continue to bite at will.

It’s not just your breast that they are chomping on. You might notice that even more than usual, kids will try to put absolutely everything in their mouths. Even the screen door isn’t safe

Poor Sleeping: If your little one is miserable, in my opinion, this is not the time for sleep training. I would go in quietly and try one of the teething remedies listed below. If you are going through a rough patch remember that parents should take shifts (if you are a single parent I send you a hug). Give yourselves each a few hours when you are off duty. There is no reason for both of you to be up all night. If you have the option, it is often best for the NON-breastfeeding parent to go in, unless it is time for a feeding. This is a slippery slope; I would try not to feed for comfort throughout the night.

Bleeding/bruised gums: It is not unusual to have a little bit of bleeding on the gums. Once in a while you may also see a purple/bluish bruise on the gums right before a tooth breaks through (official term for this is an “eruption cyst”). This will usually resolve without any intervention although something cold will feel soothing.

Mildly elevated body temperature: Many dentists are of the opinion that teething does not cause an actual fever, but I commonly see it associated with an elevated temperature. Six months is often when babies are losing some maternal antibodies, so the timing might indeed be coincidental. In any event, if a fever goes higher than 100.5 then I am not likely to blame it on teething. Any fever that is lasting more than three days is worth a call to the doctor's office to check in.

Loose stools: just like with fevers, you will likely get differing opinions on whether or not teething can be the culprit and again; I will state here that it is common enough that I think there is a connection. Some folks speculate that swallowing all that saliva and drool might be the reason. If you have a baby with loose stools, you may want to go with the bland, starchy diet and consider trying probiotics. Breast milk is safe, but other milk-based products may aggravate the situation.

Rashes: If your child has sensitive skin and/or eczema sometimes, you might notice that the general rashiness flares up during active teething. This includes the diaper area.

Congestion: Many young teething kids seem to have a clear runny nose and congestion. This can last for weeks and weeks. Sometimes it causes a post nasal drip that in turn causes a little hacking cough. 

Ear tugging: When kids are working on some of the upper teeth they tend to poke and play with their ears.

Uh oh, many of these symptoms are the same thing we look out for if we suspect an ear infection. Even though teething may well be the cause, if you are dealing with a child who is very fussy, feverish, and is having trouble sleeping, I suggest you have someone take a peek in those ears.

It is worth having an arsenal of tools at the ready for dealing with the months of teething that you have ahead of you.

Gum massage: Not every infant will let you stick your finger in their mouth to rub their gums. And if they already have some teeth, you might earn some extra hazard pay. But if they’re struggling on cutting their first set, a simple massage with your fingers is the easiest and most cost efficient intervention available.

Frozen washcloth: Wet half of a washcloth and put it in the fridge or freezer. The baby will be able to hold the dry half and chomp happily on the frozen side. For an interesting twist, consider soaking the washcloth in chamomile tea before chilling it.

Distraction: There is nothing as nice as a body massage and a warm bath by a calm singing parent.

Feeding bags (baby safe feeder, or sassy teething feeder): If your baby has had some solid foods introduced, these feeding bags are great for teething relief. Add a cold hunk of fruit or veggie (pick a food that they have been introduced to already so that you don’t need to worry about any odd reactions) and let them gnaw away happily. With the mesh bag you don’t need to worry about them breaking off a piece that could be a choking hazard. You can find these bags online pretty easily.

You can also fill one of the bags with a frozen ‘Milksicle'. Take 3 or 4 ounces of breastmilk, or formula, and combine it with some fruit, like banana, pear or mango. Puree until very smooth and stick it into an ice cube container. Pop out a frozen cube and add to the mesh feeding bag. You could also just use plain frozen breastmilk.

Cool cucumbers: Cool cucumbers can feel like a spa in your mouth! This is for kids who have proven themselves to be able to handle actual pieces of food, but for your toddlers who are cutting teeth, these might be a hit. Peel the cucumber, slice into circles, get rid of the seeds. Put the cucumber circles in a bowl in the fridge to keep cool.

Chewing options: 

• Teething Tube

• Sensory teething rings

• Cool teething rings: make sure they are made out of a safe material. Do not tie any teething rings around your baby's neck.

• Chew beads: I have had multiple parents tell me that these beads seemed to help but make certain that they are not a potential choking hazard. Check carefully that nothing that can get loose.  Your little one needs to be supervised when using them. These should never be in a crib. I worry about strangulation with any necklace.

Chinese herbs: There are very safe pediatric herbal tinctures. One, called Tender Teeth, can be obtained at The Acupuncture Den, a family practice located in San Francisco. Please contact Dr. Den to arrange a pick-up or mail delivery if you’re not in the city. Beyond just the herbs, an acupuncturist can offer relief with acupuncture and/or non-needle techniques. Many parents report babies taking a long and deep nap after a treatment!

Homeopathic drops: The ones I am most familiar with are Camilia by the Boiron company. Click the Boiron link for a coupon.

Orajel: Orajel’s new formula is safe. The older formula which actually numbed the gums was recalled years ago due to safety issues. Make sure you read the labels carefully to make sure that it is Benzocaine free.

Brandy/alcohol: Ask great grandma what she used to do for teething and she may tell you that she used to put whiskey or brandy on the baby’s gums. Obviously giving our babies alcohol is not something that most doctors would suggest today: I cannot officially endorse doing this on your own as medical advice. But I actually wouldn’t worry if you caught grandma rubbing a drop or two directly on the gums, it probably does help. Some folks also say that rubbing pure vanilla extract on the gums is an effective home remedy. That may be from the alcohol content (I am referring to a tiny amount applied topically, no swigging booze!)

Acetaminophen (Tylenol) and Advil (Ibuprofen) are useful but I prefer not to overuse them. Make sure you are using the proper dose.

Start with the other approaches first. If possible, I would prefer to keep these as remedies for night time use only. Tylenol and Advil are quite safe but if they are used for a long period of time they can be stressful to the liver and kidneys. If you find that you have gone more than 5 nights where you are depending on these meds to keep your child comfortable, give your doctor's office a call to see if you need to make sure that nothing else is going on.

DO NOT USE

Any product that contains Benzocaine or Belladonna!!

Once your child has teeth, it is especially important to keep bottles out of the crib. Milk has sugar and can cause tooth decay if a baby sleeps with a bottle in their mouth. It is never too early to start brushing the teeth. Let's get your baby in good dental habits. It is important to use a soft toothbrush and non abrasive toothpaste. The current recommendation is to use fluoride toothpaste; just a teeny bit the size of a grain of rice.

Once they have a mouthful of teeth it makes sense to start shopping for a pediatric dentist that you can establish a relationship with. This will come in handy if you have any tooth questions or mouth injuries.

Your next task is to figure out what the going rate for the tooth fairy is! I can’t help you there.

Wishing you easy teething!

Updating this post was inspired by Coby, who has all of the teething to get through

Thanks to my models EJ and Sawyer who have beautiful smiles

And as always enormous thanks to Dr. Ted who helps me achieve the the balance of data and collective wisdom.