Personally I think that most families are enriched by having a pet. Of course, as an advice nurse I have a bit of an unusual take on things. I get plenty of animal related calls. A little knowledge and planning can help keep the relationship between your pet and your child happy and safe, and can help avoid incidents with animals who don’t belong to you.
For those of you who already have pets living with you, I understand that animals are essential and much loved members of the family. In some cases they may actually feel like your first child, but here are a few things to consider:
Cats:
Many cats are quite happy to welcome a baby to the family, but cats are cats. Once your child has the ability to chase after them, the cat will usually establish dominance once or twice with a good swipe if someone is invading their space when they aren’t in the mood. Kids (and new puppies figuring out how to get along with the family cat) learn pretty quickly what the rules are. Watch out for cat scratches, they can get infected fairly easily. It is essential to clean them well and apply an antibiotic ointment. (Don't use peroxide, current thinking says to avoid it because it causes tissue irritation). If there is any increasing redness or red streaking appearing around the scratch site, that might be a sign that it is infected and it should be evaluated.
If your crawling child starts getting little red spots, consider that they might be flea bites. Fleas are rampant here in San Francisco year round. When not on your pet, fleas tend to hang out in the carpets and while they might not bother you, your child is spending more time on the rug and presents a tasty treat.
Please do your best to keep your kitties out of your baby's crib or bed. I know I sound like an old grandmother, but it is a safety hazard for a cat to snuggle around an infant's face.
Meow mix generally doesn't hurt anyone, but you want to make sure that the cat food is not left out where your toddler can get into it.
Now, getting a little more disgusting, make sure the litter box is somewhere where the child has no access. You don't want to be the parent who calls me horrified that their baby just had a snack of cat poop.
If any family members seem to be plagued with allergies, consider checking out Advanced Allergy Solutions. I have seen them make a huge difference for some people with allergies to cats and/or dogs
Dogs:
Make sure you closely supervise any interactions with your dog and your new baby to make sure the dog is not exhibiting any behaviors that you need to worry about. If the dog is at all growly, as heart wrenching as it may be, they might need to be placed in a home with no kids.
Earlier signs of doggie stress can include:
- Licking lips
- Panting
- Yawning when they are not tired
- Pacing
By the time the dog is growling, it is possible that these other signs weren’t noticed.
There are some apps out there that can help you and your older children learn how to have appropriate interactions with dogs.
Puppy Prep’s Steph Miller, owner of Recess With Steph,shared the following excellent tips:
Dogs, Babies, and Expectations – Getting YouReady!
Here are some suggestions to help you prepare your dog for Baby’s arrival:
1. Practice basic manners and tricks so that your dog has plenty of cues he knows well and you can direct him to do. Examples: sit, touch, place, out, down, leave it, settle, target.
2. Socialize your dog around children in a positive and controlled environment. Observing kids while you give your dog treats or enjoy a game of fetch is a wonderful way to build a positive association. Short exposure is perfect!
3. Replace unwanted attention seeking behaviors with desired behaviors.
Example: sit to be petted instead of pawing you on the couch.
4. Practice short times of separation with a “success station” while you are home! Crates, gates, indoor tethers, or a doggie room are all great success station options.
5. Know your dog’s sensitivities. Research his breed or mixture of breeds. Observe whether the dog startles with fast motion, noises, or other sudden events.
6. Begin a “baby flexible schedule” vs. a rigid schedule. For example, if your dog always eats at 6 am, you may want to vary this time so that your dog gets used to changes and won’t wake you up early for breakfast!
7. Allow your dog to become familiar with the baby equipment. Focus on teaching him how you would like him to behave near this equipment. Doing this ahead makes a world of difference!
8. Place a baby doll or teddy bear in the baby’s carrier and move through the house and yard with it. Practice helps you to get the idea of what it will be like to use this equipment around your dog.
9. Walk your dog with an empty stroller, or put a heavy doll or a 10 lb weight in it for a more realistic feel, in order to learn more about the skills your dog needs to learn before a walk with a real baby.
10. Use a CD of baby noises to introduce new sounds and create a positive experience prior to the baby’s arrival. You can purchase dog expert Terry Ryan’s baby sounds as a CD or digital download by visitinghttp://www.legacycanine.com.
11. Have partner bring home a blanket with the baby’s scent on it (partner will smell like the baby, too). Let the dog become accustomed to the scent in positive ways.
12. If your dog is due for his yearly check-up and vaccinations, schedule your visit well ahead of time, and be sure to stock up on all necessary medications and supplies.
13. Familiarize your dog with the person that may care for them while you are away.
14. Find a good, safe spot for your diaper pail.
16. Have fun and enjoy your family!
Most dogs are perfectly wonderful with the children but even with the most loving dogs please make it a rule that your baby or toddler is not allowed near them at meal time. The innocuous infant might become more of a threat when they start getting more mobile. Let your doggy have a baby free zone where they can eat in peace. By far most of the bites that I get called about are food related.
I recall one situation where we had a toddler who got bitten by the family dog. One of those "treat balls" was unearthed under the sofa where it had been hiding for months. The dog got very territorial when the toddler tried to get it and the baby took the brunt of it.
In another instance, Grandma’s cosseted little dog didn’t like the fact that a visiting grandchild got on the bed. The child got a severe bite on the face. It wasn’t the first time that dog had bitten someone. Grandma should have been more wary of the interaction.
Just an FYI, A study of dog bites in Calgary finds no breed group can be singled out for serious bites. It has much more to do with the training, or lack thereof.
The Family Dog cites the chilling statistic from a study that was done of Philadelphia emergency room visits that found that 77% of dog bites are actually from a dog that belongs to a family or friend.
Always make sure your dog has a safe, kid free zone that they can retreat to if they need a break. If they have a crate, make sure that it is off limits for the kids.
If you are visiting a friend or relative's house and they have a pet ask them explicitly if the animal has any history at all of aggressive behavior with children. Some folks have a blind spot where their beloved pets are concerned and lose their common sense. If there is any doubt please ask that the pet be kept away from your child.
Never reach through a fence or into a car to pet a strange dog.
If you are walking down the street, teach your child that before you pet any unfamiliar animal you ask the owner for permission. Alisha Ardiana empawthy.com,
who is a local dog trainer (she works with my grand dog Bowie) says that she believes that dogs deserve access to public spaces without being put in the position of having to interact with strangers. Some animals, walking on leash or tied up outside a store may be stressed and don't feel comfortable being approached. Don’t take it personally if the owner prefers that their dog be left alone.
If you do get the 'all clear' to say hello, demonstrate the safest and best way to meet any new animal. Show them how to hold out their hand first. Tuck the thumb inside the fist so that there are no fingers sticking out. Respect the animal’s personal bubble. Let the animal come to them to give them a sniff. Even if the owner says its fine, but the doggie isn’t interested, move on.
Here is a good article worth reading.
https://fox28spokane.com/your-children-and-dogs-they-dont-know/
After that initial sniff, for younger kids who are learning how to do gentle petting, consider teaching them the one finger petting technique - have them make a fist except for the pointer finger. Alternatively they can pet with the back of the hand. These methods can keep the kids from grabbing hunks of fur.
Even with the best training and intentions, my youngest Alana kept me on my toes. From the minute she could crawl, she was scampering across the park to say hello to anything with fur.
If you don't have a pet and are considering getting one:
I am a total animal lover and I think that having a pet is a wonderful thing. In our case, our family was adopted by a semi-stray Siamese cat when Lauren was still a baby. George (we didn’t name him) lived a very long life and I am sure never regretted choosing us as his family. A cat who comes to seek out ‘toddler love’ is indeed a cat starved for affection.
We also wanted a dog.
My mother-in-law had plenty of strong opinions. Among them were some pearls of wisdom that resonated with me. Her theory was:
All children need a dog, teenagers especially so. There is nothing quite like the unconditional love of a dog to get you through tough times. The last thing an adolescent needs is to lose their dog during those tumultuous years. Barring an unforeseen tragedy, the lifespan of a dog is roughly predictable, so plan accordingly.
When she first mentioned this to me I was actually a little horrified. It felt so callous and calculating, but I thought about it a little further and it made perfect sense. We ended up getting our beautiful golden Java when my girls were 9 and 12. We were blessed to have her with us for 12 wonderful years. Our family was much richer for it.
For an extra pet safety tip and a story, click this link to an old post:
Please accept ahead of time that as much as you bargain with your child and make agreements about how the dog responsibility will be shared, just give up right from the start. The dog is yours. You (in my case it was my husband) will be the one remembering to feed them, doing all the walks in the rain and probably 100% of the poop scooping. Trust me on this. Luckily the value of getting a family pet goes way beyond teaching your child responsibility.
Keep in mind that a dog bite impacts everyone involved. Let's do everything in our power to prevent them!
No offense to the fish, birds, snakes and other more unusual animals out there since most of the focus of this post was on the more popular furry cats and dogs.
Pets regardless of species, give us many life lessons. They teach us how to deal with loss, but also about unconditional love.
Big thank you to Stephanie Miller and Alisha Ardiana (Dog trainer extraordinaire) for their valuable input on this post
