I am a grandma

I am a grandma!

 I was all set to update my car seat guide this week. I planned to check in on the local resources to see what is available for people who want to get the car seats inspected during COVID. 

Making sure that the seats are installed properly is important. I didn’t get to all of the calls, but I have a very good excuse. Instead I will tell a story that involves a car seat. 

 I am a grandma! Lauren was due on January 18th, but in the early hours of Monday morning her water broke. Coincidentally, she had an appointment already scheduled with her OB later that morning. They confirmed that her water had broken, she was sent home for the day with orders to return to the hospital that evening. 

 Another lucky coincidence was that afternoon her doula was already scheduled to do a home visit. I went over and watched Jen help Lauren and Adam get prepped for labor. 

Sadly with Covid, the doula support would be virtual. Even though the due date was two weeks off, Lauren and Adam had been all ready to go. The nursery was ready, the go bag was packed, they had a cooler with meals and snacks all set. The only thing missing was causing some stress. The car seat had been ordered more than a month earlier but was on backorder. 

Without a car seat, a baby won’t be allowed to leave the hospital. We were figuring out a plan B of either buying or borrowing, but just in the nick of time, ding dong, UPS was at the door with the car seat. 

Fortunately, Jen the doula used to be certified to install car seats, and she was still at the house. Timing and serendipity, my grandson is part of my family for sure. 

 Labor was the hardest thing Lauren had ever done (take that Kilimanjaro and Everest Base Camp!) Not being with her was one of the hardest things I have ever done. But, Now I am a grandma of a beautiful 6 pound 8 ounce grandson. 

Mother and baby are doing well. This boy will be welcomed into a village of family and friends with so much love. He couldn’t have picked better parents, that’s for sure. 

Next week I will make those calls and update the car seat information for you. As I call, I fully intend to have a baby snuggled in my arms.

Give your kids the gift of music

Both of my parents were amateur musicians and I grew up surrounded by music. 

My mom had played piano all of her life, but when she met my dad she learned the cello so that they could play together. 

They were members of the International Chamber Music Society, so visiting musicians from all over the world would connect and play together when they were in town. 

At the time, I completely took it for granted. String quartets in my living room were routine. 

The first time my poor husband Sandy crossed the threshold of my childhood home at the age of 18, my father placed a violin in his hands to see if he knew how to hold one properly. 

My mom promptly rescued him, “Robert, leave him alone!” 

 It was expected that my sisters and I would learn to read music at the same time that we learned to read letters. 

I have such powerful and positive memories of playing violin and piano duets with my dad. Those are the ones closest to my heart. 

I of course also have memories of grumbling about being nagged to practice and being less than polite when dad would appear the moment I sat at the piano to turn on the metronome. 

 It seems to me that most adults who took music lessons as a kid, even if they were in the group that complained about them, are grateful for that opportunity when they look back. 

At the same time, most adults who did not have music as part of their childhood, wish that they had. It is not hard to find the takeaway here. Give your kids the opportunity to learn an instrument. 

When they are all grown up, they won't regret it. 

 I didn’t even consider that there were any other options. In my opinion, music should be a basic part of everyday life! 

My kids started piano lessons at an early age. I played piano duets with both of the girls, as I did with my mom, and she did with hers. 

Part of their nightly bedtime routine was daddy on the guitar making sure that both of his girls were well versed in all things Beatles and rock 'n roll. 

 My mom always encouraged the family to learn to play an instrument that could be part of an ensemble. She thought that being part of the collective sound was the stuff that magic was made of. We were therefore delighted when our daughters' school started a music program. 

In 5th grade, each child was given a choice between several instruments. The choices varied a bit from year to year. When it was Lauren’s turn, she chose the flute. When Alana was in 5th grade, she was excited that one of the choices was the saxophone. 

This was Lisa Simpson's instrument and therefor Alana's first choice.

 At some point during the year there was a performance where they could show off what they had been learning.

 Although there would be many future opportunities to watch Lauren up on a stage, I don’t actually remember her 5th grade concert. Alana’s, however, lives on in my memory banks; indeed, in the memory banks of all who attended! 

 First came the flutes...toot toot toot. We all politely applauded. 

Next came the guitars, strum strum strum...more applause. 

Now it was time for the group who had chosen the saxophone. 

 To be fair, Alana had come a long way and to my ear, had a fairly nice tone. 

It was no longer torture listening to her practice, but adding in 10 extra novice players who all were playing in their own distinct key is something that is hard to quite capture. 

 That first blast of sound that came charging out into the audience is something I will never forget. It was a palpable energy. If you were watching an animated cartoon, you would have been able to see it leave the stage. 

Words can’t really capture it. No two saxophones had the same sound coming from them. 

The audience took a collective deep breath and I believe we all had just one goal. Don’t laugh! 

These were our earnest children up there doing their best, but oh heavens, the shoulders were shaking. Most of us were managing to hold ourselves together, until one of the players made that feat even more difficult; a young boy named Max, with a round expressive face and a loud, infectious laugh. 

 After that first blast, Max, who clearly had heard what the rest of had, simply put his instrument down and started to laugh. 

The laugh very quickly turned into a full howl. While the others kept playing, Max just sat there on stage and guffawed for the rest of the performance! 

How the other students managed to keep playing at this point was somewhat astonishing. We were all near tears of repressed laughter until that last cacophonous note was finally silent. 

More than 20 years later, all who were there still have vivid memories of that evening! 

 So, yes, you might have to endure some recitals, but the benefits of having music in your life are enormous. 

I am not going to dive deeply into the studies, but they are bountiful. 

Music instruction appears to accelerate brain development in young children, particularly in the areas of the brain that are responsible for processing sound, language development, speech perception and reading skills.

 It isn’t just for kids. Older folks, including people with dementia are able to recall tunes long after they have forgotten so much else. (There is an amazing documentary about this, called Alive Inside.) 

 Singing to your kids can instantly ‘change the climate’. You don’t need to be able to carry a tune. I have seen many a temper tantrum thwarted with a song. 

 Break out of your comfort zone and expose yourself and the kids to as many genres of music as you can. 

When Alana was in high school, one of her Lowell teachers had the routine of playing a random piece of music as the students entered the classroom. These ranged from classical, classic rock, big band... Whoever could ‘name that tune’ would get a point. 

He was never able to stump Alana and as the semester went on, it became more and more of a personal challenge. 

He finally gave up when she was even able to identify a song from one of the more obscure Gilbert and Sullivan operettas. When she told me this story I felt absolutely victorious! 

 Of course I recommend that you try to go a step beyond singing and listening to music. Give your kids some hands on experience actually playing an instrument. It doesn’t need to break the bank. There are now inexpensive keyboard options as well as many apps for learning some basics.

 Making sure that music is part of your life is an excellent New Years resolution.

Santa and Covid

Let me preface this post by saying that I think it is essential to be honest with people in your lives. 

You don’t need to knock them over the head with the truth, but if they ask a direct question and press for an answer, please don’t lie. 

 Over the years several parents have asked me to weigh in on the ‘Santa discussion.’ 

What is the best way to keep the magic alive while not endangering the trust that is so important in any relationship? 

 For this general discussion about Santa, we can put him into the fine company of the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny, but it is safe to say that Santa is usually the member of this trio that has the most emotional connection. 

 The Covid pandemic has added an extra layer to the conversation. This year some kids are worried that Santa will either have issues with social distancing or have trouble taking the time to wash his hands in between the houses that he visits. 

Talk about a potential 'Super Spreader'! 

 In my Jewish family, the girls never gave too much thought to the man in the red hat or the giant bunny, but we did get routine visits from the tooth fairy every time the girls lost a tooth. 

When I wrote this post a few years ago, I checked in with my grown girls to see if they remembered any feeling of betrayal when they realized that it was daddy sneaking the money under the pillow.

 Lauren tried hard to remember. She vaguely recalls that she figured it out reasonably early, but played along for several years. She wanted to make sure that the gravy train didn’t dry up. 

Alana says that she was too busy trying to figure out if monsters were real or not (thanks to having a big sister who teased her by making strange noises in the middle of the night) to worry too much about the Tooth Fairy. 

 For the young kids who ask if the mythical creature is real, if you want to extend the magic for another year, you might deflect the questions fairly easily without telling a falsehood. A simple, “What do you think?” works pretty well. 

Or, “It is fun to believe in magic sometimes and Santa is part of the holiday magic” 

 Keep in mind that once your child gets to kindergarten believing that Santa is actually going to try to fit down your chimney, rather than the ‘spirit of the holiday magic,' they might be in for a shocking disappointment when they learn the truth. 

There are lots of kids at school, even virtually, who are eager to share the cold hard facts with your innocent child. 

It is much better if this discussion comes from you before your kids find out a harder way. 

 I spoke to several people who recounted that they believed in Santa with all of their hearts and were completely devastated when they learned the truth. 

They felt deceived. 

One person told me that finding the truth was the moment they stopped believing in all magic.

 How sad!

 Letting them know the truth gently doesn’t have to be a negative experience. 

 For older kids, I love a good story. 

Many stories start with an element of historical truth: “Once upon a time in a far off country there was a man named Nicholas. He loved to do good things for other people. What was special about him is that when he gave people presents or did nice things, he didn’t do it because he wanted something in return. He simply wanted to do good things. 

Lots of times he did it in secret and no one even knew who did something nice for them. 

Maybe this Nicholas was big and jolly and had a white beard. 

He became known as Santa Claus. Santa is a symbol of love and magic and hope and happiness. 

He teaches children how to believe in something that they can’t see or touch. 

I am on his holiday kindness team and now you can be too. 

Really little children might believe that there is one Santa who manages to be everywhere at once. Big kids like you get to know the secret. 

Team Santa is all the big kids and grown ups who want to help make other people happy. “ 

 Perhaps take the opportunity to help your child be an active member of this awesome team; an initiation of sorts. Is there someone in your life that seems like they need a little kindness? 

What could you do for them? Is there a little gift that might make a difference? 

Plotting a secret kindness is the thing that wonderful lasting holiday memories are made of. 

 PS: Even when Covid is no longer an issue, the photo on Santa's Lap should be voluntary. If your child isn't eager to go sit on a strange guy's lap, please don't force them. 

If the kids are up for it, there are places that are making socially distanced Santa Visits possible this year. https://datebook.sfchronicle.com/entertainment/where-and-how-to-get-your-2020-photos-with-santa-in-the-bay-area

Talking Barbie takes a bath

This week's topic Talking Barbie takes a Bath

This post is not going to educate or problem solve, but it might make you giggle, which is actually what we all need these days. Sandy’s uncle Bernie was a very senior executive at Mattel, and a friend of Ruth Handler, the inventor of Barbie. What this boiled down to was that every December, an enormous box would be shipped to our house filled with the latest toys, and dolls. My girls ended up with an absurd amount of Barbies. And we even had boxes labeled with extra Barbie parts - arms, legs, heads... My kids could entertain themselves endlessly with these. My sister-in-law Barbara was just recounting a memory of watching her nieces play with the dolls. At one point Lauren declared “This is boring. Let’s play Barbie in Russian”. They proceeded to continue the activity that looked to be completely unchanged, but now the various Barbies spoke to each other with Russian accents. Somehow this added just the element of excitement that was lacking, and the play happily continued. One year, a very special Barbie made an appearance. This one talked. When you pushed the button on her back she would come out with a multipart statement such as “ Want to go to the Beach? With Ken? Tomorrow?” When you mixed and matched, it turned out to be a pretty wide range of Barbie appropriate statements (no Russian accent). This was a long time ago. My 4 and 7 year old daughters shared a bedroom and the third bedroom in the house was an office/toy room. One evening the girls were in the tub. They had brought some dolls in there with them. They were past the age of needing eagle eye supervision, but I was in my room keeping an ear out when I heard the new Barbie chatting. I went into the bathroom and said, “this Barbie should probably not be in the tub. I don’t think she should get wet.” No problem; they handed her over and I put her away. A short time later I heard her talking. “ Want to get some pizza/ with Skipper? On Monday?” “Hey girls...I told you Barbie can’t be in the tub” “She isn’t in here!” This is when I heard Sandy pipe up from the office…”uh, she is in here.” So, there she was, right where I had left her, just occasionally coming out with something to say. We figured at some point it would just stop. Bedtime routine continued and the girls were tucked in. Sandy and I were down in the kitchen when some time later the girls appeared; they were laughing and holding the Barbie. “We can’t fall asleep. She is keeping us up.”  Sure enough, Barbie was now ranting and it was LOUD. “Pizza, shopping, beach, Ken, Ken….” Sandy, who was always the bedtime enforcer, took the doll and said, “okay...back up to bed, we will take care of her”. He wrapped her up in a towel and you could still hear her yacking away. So we did the next obvious thing, we opened the oven door (it wasn’t on of course) and put the towel wrapped rambling Barbie in it. You could still hear her. It was a little Twilight zone-ish. We looked at each other at the same time and said “batteries, Duh!” Laughing at ourselves that our ‘obvious’ solution had been to wrap her up and try to muffle her, we retrieved Barbie from the oven and with the help of a small screwdriver, removed the battery. We left her on the kitchen counter. The next morning, I was down in the kitchen making lunches for the kids to take to school (Alana in general refused sandwiches so I always had to be a little more creative.) I was still a little sleepy, so when the Barbie, sitting on the counter suddenly said “Do you want to go shopping?” I confess that I let out a scream and dropped whatever I had been holding. Unbeknownst to me, Sandy had replaced the battery before he left for work Since she was no longer yelling, we let her talk herself out until the battery finally died, at which point she was relegated to the status of just another Barbie. Wishing you all a season filled with plenty of things that make you smile!

Holiday Safety Checklist 2020

The day after Thanksgiving is typically when people start thinking about the upcoming Holiday season. Flip through some radio stations and you are sure to find seasonal songs playing already. According to a news story that I was watching this week, people are actually starting to decorate for the holidays even earlier than usual because, well…..we need to be cheered up after this horrible year. Early tree sales are soaring. Over the years I have continued to update my holiday safety post. Whenever I think I have seen it all, strange accidents and events come to my attention and get added to the list. This year aside from warnings about candles, trees and lights the biggest safety issue is a sad one.....Stay away from people who are not in your quarantine bubble. I know that there are probably a number of you who are relieved that you have an excuse to avoid the large family gathering, but for others it is heartbreaking to be away from larger, traditional gatherings. The COVID numbers are frightening. Just a few weeks ago, things looked like they were improving. Alana and I gleefully got our first pedicures in more than 8 months. Now? Looking at the uptick in cases, I wouldn’t have taken the chance. Back in June I did a post that addressed the risk/benefit for easing out of the restrictions. Your health and the health of your family are simply more important than a holiday gathering. I fear that many people ignored all the warnings and gathered for Thanksgiving this week. I hope I am wrong, but if I am not, we can expect even a bigger increase in cases as well as a strain on the hospital systems in the coming weeks. If that is the case, I would be really nervous about going anywhere! Go ahead and decorate your house (safely) Make your wonderful meals and create a magical atmosphere in your home, but please please make smart choices when it comes to leaving the safety of your bubble. Holiday Safety Checklist Have you thought of everything? The lights are twinkling and the radios are playing the holiday tunes. People are putting up the holiday decorations. It is time for the holiday safety post. Take a moment to give this a careful read. There may be some things that hadn't occurred to you. For most people, the holidays are a time for celebration. That means more cooking, home decorating, entertaining, and an increased risk of fire and accidents. For every aspect of holiday celebrations, I can tell you the story of a patient who called with a related accident. It is not my intent to scare folks with my tales. As I tell parents who attend my safety class, if you know ahead of time what accidents can happen, you have a way better chance of avoiding them. I have seen some wild and improbable things over the years. Baking cookies is just one example. A patient's mom called to tell me that her 10 month old had sustained a burn on his hand. She was holding him in the crook of one arm as she removed the cookie sheets from the oven. As she recounted, he turned into a cartoon character with a telescoping reach and he was able to stretch across her body and grab a hold of the piping hot tray. Simple solution: don't hold your child when you are working with hot stuff in the kitchen. Their arms are longer than you think. If even one accident has been prevented, this post was worth it. Candles are another hazard. It was a winter evening many years ago in a cabin at Lake Tahoe. Dr. Jessica and family lit some holiday candles and went to sleep. Somehow one of the candles ended up burning a hole through a plastic mat that was on the table. Luckily the smell of burning plastic woke them up before any real damage was done, but it was a frightening lesson. This was a vacation rental. In this instance, there seemed to be no working smoke detector. She had no idea if and where there was a fire extinguisher. There are several obvious lessons here. Never go to sleep with candles or a fireplace still burning. Get acquainted with the safety features of any place your family is staying. Below are some safety considerations for dealing with the holiday season ahead. Some of these may seem like common sense but there might be a few tidbits in here that I am betting you haven't thought about. Beware of button batteries. They are everywhere nowadays in all sorts of small electronics (and musical cards) and can be quite hazardous if swallowed. Take time in advance to do a mental inventory of items that you have around that may be powered by these. Put a piece of duct tape over the battery compartments to make sure they can't fall out. Certain holiday plants like poinsettias can be mildly toxic (especially to someone with a latex allergy). You may not have them in your own house, but if you are visiting a friend or even a supermarket make sure little hands don't grab the pretty red leaves and put them in their mouths. Be very careful transporting hot food to a holiday potluck. I have patients who have been burned from hot food spilling on them in a car. WARNING TO PET OWNERS! One of my patients had a tragedy several years ago. An eight year old healthy dog got into a wrapped package that was filled with chocolate. The amount ingested proved to be too toxic for this little dog to handle and they didn't make it. Please don't let this happen to you. Make sure that any mystery packages are nowhere near where a pet can get to them. Christmas tree checklist: When purchasing a live tree, check for freshness. A fresh tree is less of a fire hazard Cut 1-2 inches from the base of the trunk immediately before placing the tree in the stand and filling with water to ensure absorption. Don’t add chemicals that might be toxic to kids or pets. A dash of plain 7 up can help keep the tree healthy. check the water level daily to avoid the tree drying out When purchasing an artificial tree, look for the label "Fire Resistant" Never use electric lights on a metallic tree. The tree can become charged with electricity from faulty lights and a person touching a branch could be electrocuted. Place your tree at least 3 feet away from all heat sources, including fireplaces, radiators and space heaters Make sure the tree is steady enough that it can't be pulled over by a toddler. You may need to attach it to something solid. Trust me, trees get knocked or pulled over. Older kids running around can cause this issue, it isn’t just toddlers. Trim your tree with non-combustible or flame resistant materials. Before using lights outdoors, check labels to make sure they have been certified for outdoor use. Make sure all the bulbs work and that there are no frayed wires, broken sockets or loose connections. Plug all outdoor electric decorations into circuits with ground-fault circuit interrupters to avoid potential shocks. Strings of lights and garlands are a staple of holiday decorating, but they can also pose a strangulation hazard. Avoid trimming the tree with things that look like candy which may pose a temptation to the kids. Keep sharp, glass or breakable ornaments out of reach of small children. Holly berries and other small decorations can be choking hazards. Don't overload extension cords; make sure that your extension cords are high quality. If you are going to use your fireplace, make sure that you have the chimney checked and cleaned if it has been awhile since you built your last fire. (make sure that it isn’t a spare the air day) http://www.sparetheair.org/stay-informed/todays-air-quality This is not a safety issue, but it is worth mentioning. Is your child exhibiting any new allergy symptoms? Take a minute to consider whether or not they started during the holiday season. Trees, scented candles and other seasonal extras can trigger some allergies. Hanukkah doesn’t fall on the same date every year since it is based on a lunar calendar. Many folks laughingly refer to it as coming either “early or late”. It also has more spelling variations than any other holiday. This season the first candle will be lit on the evening of Thursday December 10th. Make sure that all candles are safely out of harm's way. The menorah should be on a glass tray or aluminum foil. Make sure candles are not close to wrapping paper. Don't go to sleep with candles still burning. Don't leave the matches or lighters hanging around. If you are frying latkes (fried potato pancakes that are a holiday tradition, yum) make sure that no one gets splattered by oil and of course, never leave the hot oil unattended  Remember that adding water to a grease fire will make it worse! Baking soda is okay, but a fire extinguisher is best. Make sure you know where it is and how to use it. Kwanzaa may be the safest of the holidays, (no hot oil or stressing the electrical outlets) but there are still candles involved, so make sure they are placed in a safe place and toddlers don't have access. If I missed any holidays, let me know! I will add them to this post in the future. This is also a great time to test your smoke alarms and carbon monoxide detectors!!! Stay safe and have a wonderful holiday season.

Thanksgiving 2020/Food safety guidelines

I have always loved Thanksgiving.  For more than 25 years, several close families have joined with ours to create wonderful holiday traditions. Our typical celebration includes deep fried turkey, boozy cranberry sauce, my grandmothers award winning apple chocolate chip cake (recipes below), games after dinner and Sandy wearing his special "uglier than you can imagine" Thanksgiving pants. Mostly it was about friends and family gathering with our numbers growing every year as we would figure out how to creatively fit more people around the table. One fond memory from many years ago comes to mind. My daughters were probably 6 and 3 years old. We were taking turns sharing our thoughts about what we were thankful for. This was long before an activity like this would simply bring on heavy eye rolling from Lauren, but at the age of six, she embraced this activity with a gusto. She was thankful for rainbows and sparkles, family and love...she went on for several minutes with a fairly classic list of things that made a 6 year old girl feel happy. The other kids at the table followed her lead and the lists of things to be grateful for were getting longer and longer. Then it was 3 year old Alana’s turn.  “Lani, what are you thankful for?” There was a moment's pause and the one word answer. “Soda” This year of course we will be putting our more than 25 year tradition on pause. My usual 30 people will be limited to 6 (this will ensure that there is plenty boozy cranberry sauce to go around.)  I understand how hard it is to be away from friends and family during the holiday season. I also know how lucky I am to be in a quarantine bubble with my local immediate family. That beats soda any day. For everyone who is impatient and tempted to go to a larger gathering, please be smart. Hang in there for a bit longer. There is a light ahead. I know it is still dim, but it is there. In honor of Thanksgiving, I am reposting my food safety guidelines. There are some terrific links in here that you might want to bookmark for later. Food Safety Guidelines

Thanksgiving is a holiday associated with lots of yummy leftovers so it's usually a good time to update my food safety post. If you watch the news you know that food contamination issues can happen all year round. This post will give you some safe guidelines for foods that you buy and cook. If you do a lot of eating out, restaurants are supposed to have their cleanliness rating publicly displayed. Check the bottom of the article for some great links on food storage guidelines; everything from egg safety and turkey leftovers to breastmilk storage. It is certainly not a sterile world. As soon as they are able, your baby will start putting anything that they can reach into their mouths. You can't even begin to imagine the phone calls I have gotten about icky things that some of my little patients have managed to get their hands and mouths on. Chap-stick, particles from an exploded hot pack, kitty litter, the little packet in shoe boxes that says do not eat. You name it, they lick it. So yes, the world is full of germs, and while I don't generally get too concerned about a little dirt here or a big sloppy dog kiss there, foodborne bacteria can be nasty, and we need to minimize any exposure. There were more than 300,000 reports of children under the age of five being impacted by tainted food last year alone. Infants and young children are particularly vulnerable to foodborne illness because their immune systems are not developed enough to fight off infections. This is especially important for infants under 6 months of age. Extra care should be taken when handling and preparing their food and formula. Here are some basic food safety guidelines. Wash hands for at least 20 seconds before food preparation. Soap is best. Hand sanitizer will do. Re-wash as needed after handling food that might carry germs. The most common offenders are poultry, meat, raw eggs. Make sure kitchen towels and sponges are changed and cleaned frequently. Sponges can go through the dishwasher. Cloth can get easily contaminated and then spread germs. Watch out for potholders or other cloth items that come into contact with raw food. Keep your refrigerator temperature at 40 degrees or colder. It is worth investing in an appliance thermometer so that you can keep track. All the science says that the 40 degree number is essential for keeping the bacteria from multiplying. Your freezer should be below 0 degrees. To ensure the safety of your frozen food, you need to be sure that it has been actually kept constantly frozen. One clever trick to make sure of this is to keep a baggie filled with ice cubes in the freezer. If they remain cubes, you are in good shape; if they melt and refreeze as a block of ice that means that at some point your freezer was not cold enough. This can happen in a power outage or even if the door wasn't kept tightly closed. I am sad to say that if there was stored breast milk in there that has thawed and refrozen, I would no longer consider it safe. Label things in your freezer and rotate so that you are using up older stuff first. Check the dates of baby food jars and make sure the lid pops when you open them. Don't put baby food back in the refrigerator if your child doesn't finish it and you used the "used" spoon to take the food directly from the jar. Your best bet - simply don't feed your baby directly from the jar. Instead, put a small serving of food on a clean dish. Add more as needed with a clean spoon. Remember that once saliva has come into contact with the food it is no longer sterile and some bacteria can grow quickly. Powdered formula is NOT sterile. Don't mix up more than you need in advance. If the infant is less than 4 months, I would mix it with boiling water and let it cool. Don't leave open containers of liquid or pureed baby food out at room temperature for more than two hours. Bacteria thrive in temperatures between 40-140 degrees Don't store opened baby food in the refrigerator for more than three days. If you are not sure that the food is still safe, remember this saying: "If in doubt, throw it out." See links below for guidelines on how long food stays safe. Make sure that foods are properly cooked. A food thermometer is the best tool for this.  Beef...160  Chicken ( white meat/ dark meat)...170/180  Fish......160  Eggs....not runny For all of you "older kids" who will be baking this holiday season, watch out for the batter (I am a notorious offender.), Even one lick from raw food containing a contaminated egg can get you ill. ____________________________________________ Myth: Freezing food kills harmful bacteria that can cause food poisoning. Fact: bacteria can survive freezing temperatures. When food is thawed, bacteria can still be present and can begin to multiply. Cooking food to the proper internal temperature is the best way to make sure any bacteria is killed. Myth: vegetarians don't need to worry about food poisoning. Fact: Fruits and vegetables are an important part of a healthy diet, but like other foods they may carry a risk of foodborne illness. Always rinse produce well under running tap water. Never eat the pre-washed 'ready to eat' greens if they are past their freshness date or if they appear slimy. Myth: Plastic or glass cutting boards don't hold harmful bacteria on their surfaces like wooden cutting boards do . Fact: Any type of cutting board can hold harmful bacteria on its surface. Regardless of the type of cutting board you use, it should be washed and sanitized after each use. Solid plastic, tempered glass, sealed granite, and hardwood cutting boards are dishwasher safe. However, wood laminates don't hold up well in the dishwasher. Once cutting boards of any type become excessively worn or develop hard-to-clean grooves, they should be discarded. Myth: Locally-grown, organic foods will never give you food poisoning. Fact: Any food, whether organic or conventional, could become unsafe with illness-causing foodborne bacteria at any point during the chain from the farm to the table. Consumers in their homes can take action to keep their families safe. That is why it is important to reduce your risk of foodborne illness by practicing the four steps: Clean, Separate, Cook, and Chill. Some excellent resources for food safety tips can be found at: www.foodsafety.gov  This site keeps track of any food recalls www.Stilltasty.com This is as great site for seeing how long food will last. I used it just this week to figure out if an open can of chickpeas was still good. (After a week, the answer was no) www.fightbac.org   This site has loads of kid friendly activities Breastmilk storage guide http://www.eggsafety.org Enjoy your Thanksgiving!

‌

Grandma Fuffy’s apple chocolate chip cake Beat together 3 eggs 1 3/4 cups sugar 1 cup oil (can make some of it apple sauce) sift together 2 ¼ cups flour (can substitute cup for cup Gluten free flour) ½ teaspoon salt 1 teaspoon baking soda                             ¼ teaspoon baking powder Mix together wet and dry ingredients Add ½ cup of chopped nuts ( optional) ½ cup chocolate chips ( sometimes more seem to find their way into the bowl) 4 cups peeled and diced apples ( about 4 apples) this is the only pain in the butt part of this recipe, otherwise it is so easy cook in ungreased 9X13 pan in 350 oven if you use only oil it is about an hour, if you use some applesauce it is done more quickly, use a toothpick to check the center ******************************************************************* Cranberry Puree (8 servings) 1 pound of fresh cranberries 2 cups of sugar 3/8 cup of Marsala wine ½ cup of Grand Marnier 1/8 cup of Angostura Bitters Cook cranberries and sugar in heavy medium saucepan over medium heat until cranberries are very soft, stirring frequently, about 20 minutes. Puree mixture in blender with half of Marsala wine. (The original recipe says that you should strain this mixture into a medium bowl, pressing to extract as much fruit as possible, although I don’t bother with this step as I think the texture with the seed and fruit bits is more interesting.) Whisk in remaining Marsala wine, Grand Marnier, & bitters. Cover and refrigerate overnight. (Can be prepared up to 5 days ahead.) Serve well chilled. (The amounts of alcohol can be decreased but not by more than ½ of what is called for; the less liquids added, the more jelly-like the puree.)   Don't eat this cranberry sauce and drive!!

Teaching your child how to be a good winner or loser

Teaching your child to be a good winner or loser

It is our job as parents and educators to teach our kids the all important lesson of how to lose and how to win without being an ungracious %%$%. I started writing this post several months ago, but put it on the back burner. The topic was on my mind from watching the news a little too often. The ability to remain civil and be a good sport seems to be a waning skill. Some adults don’t seem to have the capacity to say, “Congratulations, you won, good job.” When I see an adult acting badly, It gets me thinking, what was their childhood like? Was love and approval conditioned on success? Is success measured solely by winning or losing? Now, after watching this historic election for the past several days, I decided to dust off this piece and finish it. My post about RSV can wait until next week. There will be times in life where we don’t succeed or come out on top. Tools for dealing with those situations gracefully are gifts that you can give to your kids from a fairly young age. This should be an essential lesson for people of all ages Sports and games of all sorts should be a normal part of growing up. Children who are blessed with siblings haven't had to take a break from social interactions. For all the others the quarantine has made that very challenging. After the quarantine, at some point, life will go back to normal. We will return to our normal social interactions. Kids will be put in situations where they are playing and competing. Find time to have real conversations about winning and losing. When your child is having a temper tantrum because they just lost a card game with their sibling is probably NOT the ideal time. When you find that magic moment, here are some talking points. Was playing the game fun?  Was the actual activity less fun because you didn’t win? Is there luck involved? Is there skill involved? If you practice, do you think you could improve? Is there knowledge involved? Could you study and learn? Tell stories about people who win and lose and how they act nicely or like spoiled brats.  Get out the stuffed animals or dolls and play it through. Exaggerate how sweet and gracious the good winners and losers act. Go over the top acting out the obnoxious poor losers or boasting winners. Who would they rather spend time with? Consider doing the following: We are going to try something. It involves playing a game. For the game, only one person can win. But in the big experiment you will all be awarded points One point for winning the game but three points for: Compassion. Being happy for the person who won Being kind and gracious to the people who didn’t win. By all means, it is perfectly fine to try hard and be proud of yourself for winning. On the other hand, losing shouldn’t be shameful or something we can't handle. We need to teach our kids about what is really important and to recognize when things are less consequential, so that they don’t get consumed with the importance of getting the gold medal. Admittedly some contests are much more important than others, but regardless, character matters! My daughter Lauren ( Inclusive Arts ) teaches improv and theatre classes, and told me about several of the ways she teaches her students to cope if an activity doesn’t go their way. If it is a game in which a group is working as a team to accomplish a shared goal, and one or more group members seems to be struggling with the challenge, at any point in the activity, any member of the group can call out ‘AGAIN!’ which everyone then echoes all together with a big celebratory gesture (changing the narrative from “we have to try again” to “we get to try again”). She also uses what is called “the failure bow”; if there is a competition or an activity in which the possibility of being eliminated or losing exists, they get the opportunity to do an epic bow while everyone else applauds. The goal (and usually the result) is to maintain the feeling of celebration regardless of the outcome.  Model good behavior. Show your kids the proper way to lose and win. Don’t whine and throw the game board across the room if you lose, or accuse your opponents of cheating. Don’t taunt people when you win. Pay attention to when your kids take the high road and let them know that you noticed!  Since Lauren weighed in on this post, she couldn’t help but point out that when her father Sandy would win a game, he would ‘Assume the Position’ which translated to doing a royal sprawl of celebration with a loud and satisfying sounding “Aaaaaaaaaah.”  It is okay to be a little bit of a brat...just keep it fun! If children are reassured that trying hard, having fun, and being kind and gracious are the things that make parents proud, and encourages other people want to engage with them, than a very important lesson will be learned.