Last week Sandy and I spent several days in LA. While we were there, Lauren and Adam took a few days for a quick local getaway while we stayed with Elliot.
Parents of young kids, I bow to you. Extra shout out to folks who are doing it on their own. When kids are around, peace and quiet are a rare commodity.
And privacy? Think again; that isn’t on the menu.
As I sat in the bathroom for a quick minute, the door flung open (I thought it was locked, but nope) “Grandma, turn off the light and lets make shadows on the wall with your cell phone flashlight”
When we got back to San Francisco it was too quiet. There is no in between or ‘goldilocks’ zone.
It borders on a bit too hectic there, and it is absolutely too quiet here.
Enter some mindfulness.
For me, I am trying, with some success, to lean in to wherever I am.
Otherwise, one could never feel satisfied. It is easy enough to fall into that trap of focusing on the challenges rather than the glimmers of joy.
Chaos? Cherish it.
Sandy and I sat down to watch Elliot put on one of his concerts using the new working microphone that he got as a birthday present. He has several favorite songs that he does on repeat.
We were covered in stickers, wearing unicorn crowns from Baskin Robbins, with Fisher Price little people on our fingers. At the same time, Bowie the dog was tossing his slimy chew toy at our feet, beseeching us to throw it…
Rinse and Repeat. This scene went on for hours.
I made a conscious choice and reminder to myself that moments are fleeting. Kids grow so fast.
How lucky am I to have a relationship with my kids and grandchildren.
I tossed the toy for Bowie and enjoyed the concert.
Quiet? Trying to find the balance.
As someone who is newly retired I am paying close attention.
Young parents who feel like they would pay a king's ransom for 30 minutes of being off duty will surely not relate, but having too much time on my hands doesn’t work for me.
I don’t know about you, but when I have a loaded schedule, I manage pretty well. I can knock off the items on the to-do list and pat myself on the back for being remarkably efficient. When I have only one or two things to do in the course of the day, often absolutely nothing gets done. (Except wordle!)
When I have a lot going on, having a day off is a treat. I declare it pajama day, curl up with a good book or binge a show.
But if I have more than one of those in a row I can feel myself ‘blobbify’. Don’t bother looking that word up, since I made it up. The less there is to do, the less energy and drive there is to do anything.
For anyone who watches Star Trek, it feels like Odo the shape shifter who turns into liquid and rests in his bucket until he takes form again.
If I have too many quiet days, I always have the sense that it will get harder and harder getting out of the ‘bucket’
I am reminding myself that there is a lot of ‘choice’ here.
I am figuring things out. Writing, walking with friends, and planning some travel in April are currently keeping me occupied.
Everyone has different needs when it comes to keeping busy. If you are fortunate enough to have some control over your schedule I hope that you are able to find the sweet spot.
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