Gratitude 2023

 

There were a lot of posts making the rounds all about gratitude last week. My inbox was absolutely full of them. It is that time of year after all. Some resonated more than others. I was all set to add my contribution to the collection, but I ended up skipping last week’s post. Maybe I delayed it to make the point that gratitude shouldn’t be something that we only pay attention to on one day a year, but the truth is that I just was busy. Talking about being grateful, I was surrounded by people I love. My daughter Lauren and family were visiting from LA. I saw a meme making the rounds that had me laughing out loud. On Thanksgiving, when that adorable toddler offers you a cookie, they are actually giving you the flu. This was sadly accurate. My grandson Elliot and his daddy Adam arrived in San Francisco already sick with influenza. The good news is that the flu shot protected the rest of us and we didn’t catch it. That is fortunate for me, because no germs were going to stop me from snuggling. To add to my joy, back in 2021, my daughter Alana donated her eggs to one of her closest friends and gorgeous baby Sawyer is now seven months old. Sawyer’s amazing mom and dad were reasonably close by for the holiday so we got to spend some time together. Even though events in the macro world are so difficult to watch without weeping, in my micro world, I am feeling very blessed. Here is my gratitude post:

Gratitude “It is not joy that makes us grateful, it is gratitude that makes us joyful” - David Steindl Rast When something is wrong it tends to make a lot of noise and gets our attention. That seems to be basic human nature. We invariably pay very little mind to things that are working smoothly. If you have ever sustained an injury this might resonate. Years ago my right pinky got broken. I was walking my large rambunctious golden. I was holding the leash in a way in which it was wrapped around my finger (don’t do that). Java might have seen a squirrel or something equally exciting. She gave chase and I felt my finger snap. Yup, it felt as good as it sounds. The point is that this impacted the use of my right hand for weeks. This meant I couldn’t hold a pencil or give an injection. Go ahead and play with your hand. Make a fist. A pinky that won’t bend affects more than you might think. We take so much for granted. The minute I had full use of my hand I gave it no further thought. Thanksgiving is the perfect time to remind ourselves to practice a little gratitude for the daily things that are working, but as I mentioned, we should be paying attention to the 'glimmers' of things that we are grateful for, everyday. It isn’t only working body parts that we ignore. We can tend to take family members and friends equally for granted. I asked Oath’s Brittany to share some of her thoughts about gratitude with me. Here is some of her wisdom: The benefits of gratitude are so real:  It can lower blood pressure It can decrease negative mental health outcomes such as depression and anxiety across all life stages & ages.  It enhances relationship satisfaction  It can Increase emotional well-being  It can generate upstream reciprocity (a stranger unknowingly buys your coffee, you are more likely to buy someone else’s coffee) It can result in a greater sense of belonging in the world   Where many of the other emotions we face daily are more messy and complex. Gratitude on the other hand, is a clean and simple emotion.   During daylight hours we may not be able to see the stars. However, we trust that they are still there. Similarly, when life circumstances (tantrums, loss, war, diagnoses, etc) make it difficult to find, it’s still possible to access gratitude.  In every moment, there is an opportunity to learn and be born into something greater than what is in the present. An opportunity for us to emerge as a different person than the one we entered into that experience being.  The best way to teach gratitude to our children is by allowing them to see us practice it. There’s an old saying when it comes to parenting that, “more is caught than taught.”  Facilitating gratitude practices that your children can participate with you is a great tool too.  Some tools to help us access gratitude include:  Nature. Get outside and notice the trees swaying in the wind. Pay attention to glorious flowers.If you are lucky to live near water, watch the ocean roll onto the beach and out again. (don't turn your back on the water!) Observe the clouds passing by in the sky.  The arts. Listen to or play a beautiful piece of music. Go to a museum and spend time in front of a piece that speaks to you Tap into your creative genius. We ALL have some. This could include painting, baking, writing, building, etc.  Appreciate your body's ability to move, such as walking, running, yoga, breath-work, dancing...making a fist etc.  Savor your ability to be kind. Compliment someone’s smile, buy that cup of coffee for a stranger, call your loved one just to say “hi!”. Maybe make soup for someone who isn't feeling well. Let the kids help put things in the pot. When you find gratitude, give yourself permission to linger or savor it.  I am grateful to Brittany for being such a wonderful resource I am also grateful to all of my readers who bother to open and read these emails/blog posts!