Things you never thought you would be doing |
A few weeks ago I was browsing through some of the posts in the Oath community when one particular topic caught my attention. The title of the thread was Things You Never Thought You’d Be Doing. This was posted by one of our community members, Tamar, who shared: I just made a peanut butter and banana sandwich for myself at 3am in the dark with only my left hand (while holding a sleepy burpy lump in the other). “I guess this is my life now?” Tamar got a bunch of “me too” when she added another one. Secretly popping old balloons in the middle of the night and stuffing them deep in the garbage so my toddler would never notice they were gone. It made me think about one of my favorite parenting stories. A long time ago before I moved to San Francisco and became a parent myself, Sandy and I lived in NY. Our upstairs neighbors had just had an infant and this was my first exposure to the raw reality of parenthood. One sweltering August evening when the baby was a few weeks old, the hot and exhausted parents were making supper. Because of the heat, their young son was hanging out with no clothes on. The baby had a little diaper rash, so his bottom was also getting a little air. Dinner was going to consist of the last of their spaghetti. The cupboards were otherwise fairly bare. Sleep had taken precedence over shopping. When the pasta was cooked and dumped into the colander the baby boy peed in spectacular fashion. The stream of urine arced across the kitchen (this was NY, the kitchen was fairly tiny, but still…..) directly into the strainer. The parents looked at each other and at about the same time said, “Rinse and Eat?” And that is exactly what they did. They told me this story the following day and I confess, I did not relate to that decision. Rinse and Eat? That would have been a hard pass. However, once I became a mom I completely shifted into the ‘rinse and eat’ camp. Parents often end up in situations that catch them a bit by surprise. Others jumped onto Tamar’s thread in the chat, to share their own little moments. Not surprising to any parent, many of these situations include bodily secretions. . Blanka wrote: When my son was younger and still in the “infant spit up” phase- Every morning on my way out the house (while fully dressed in work clothes, dress, heels, blazer etc) he would decide to have a spit up or sneeze snot on my shoulder while I’m walking from the front door to the car (a total of a 45 second walk) huge eye roll! Then I’d have to turn right back around to go upstairs with the baby and find a whole new outfit (as if I had time to do that). I remember getting so flustered ! Luckily that was only a couple of months. Multiple moms shared that they simply accepted that they would be wearing clothes that were covered in spit up. That was me.Alana was such a frequent spitter that I would have been changing my clothes dozens of times a day if I wanted to be spit up free. Kareese shared: During the 3am feeding, my son spit up all over my chest, neck, and hair when I went to transfer him. I was so exhausted that I just patted it dry and went to sleep. I’ve learned that sleep wins no matter what lol So many spit up stories but Carole’s might win: “I remember years ago we were just about to get our oldest dedicated at church, standing all lined up and organized in the back of the stage about to go on. The parents were all dressed up, babies in their cutest outfits (likely put on just before). Just as the pastor was about to call the families out onto the stage, my son spit up .. which I caught in my hand in an attempt to save all of our nice clothes. A staff member quickly grabbed a roll of paper towels (clearly he had kids), I mopped my arm and hand off, and we strolled right onto the stage, hundreds of people none the wiser.” Lindsay shared a couple of memories, both with a poop theme... The other morning, I shoveled poop out of my 2 year old’s sleep sack with my bare hands, then had to strip the pee soaked sheets off the top bunk of my 4.5yo’s bunk bed, then wipe his butt—all before 7:30am. and I remember purposefully putting shit soiled clothing on my son when he was 6mo, because we had only packed him one change of clothes for our cross country flight, and he had two blowouts, and the second one was worse than the first. One of the other things that sets Oathcare apart is our parent guides and specialists. These are real moms who can relate. Here are some of their real parenting moments: Shin yu shared a memory This happened when I was solo parenting while my husband was traveling. Both kids were sick, and both refused to leave my side. Well, nature called, and I really needed to use the bathroom. My exhausted mind could not take anymore screaming or whining so we all went into the bathroom. So while I used the restroom, the baby boy was in my lap, and my older kiddo was holding onto my arm. When I was done, my older kid ripped off some toilet paper and handed it to me. I sighed to myself, and realized this is my life now. Privacy? That is a thing of the past. At least when your kids are little. Betsy shared this I realized that having toddlers/preschoolers means being embarrassed in public to some degree pretty much all the time as they air news of your bodily functions to anyone within hearing range. Especially public bathroom stalls. When you're crammed into one with 3 kids, they have a lot to say about what is going on in there. We were once in a very long line for the pharmacy that went down the adult incontinence aisle. The kids had a loud debate about what was on the shelves and concluded it was "the things mommy puts up her vagina sometimes." At least they used the correct anatomical name! Carole shared, “Surrounded by all of the “boy noises” all of the time — airplanes, dinosaur roars, monsters, blowing up/crashing (if you know, you know) … somewhere in the midst of the loud chaos the other day I realized that this life of boys (I have 3) is my life now — So. Very. Loud.” Alexandra shared Some backstory, our 2-year-old has seemed really frustrated with not being able to communicate his needs and we've been considering getting him evaluated for his speech. Well, he's home sick and won't leave my side, but I had to go to the bathroom, so he's on my lap as I'm on the toilet and he says to me "mama throw up" and then throws up all over my lap. So I start yelling for my husband to come into the bathroom, he's thinking it's because of the throw-up but I was just so excited that he could put those words together. So then my husband and I are high-fiving, meanwhile, I'm still sitting on the toilet covered in vomit. 🙌🏾. Parenting certainly is weird. So Valentine's Day is around the corner. How is this post a Valentine’s gift? Are you a ‘me too’ for some of the things in here? (you don’t need to cop to eating pee covered pasta.) Real moms (and dads) are muddling through, with spit up on their shirt and a little one keeping them company while they are on the toilet. I think that there is some solid comfort in knowing that you are NOT alone. There are dishes in the sink, you are tired. There are wonderful times ahead. Some might feel easier, but savor the fleeting period when your kids are little. They will be asking for the car keys before you know it If you are not already a member of the OathCare community I would love to see you in there! |
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