There is no such thing as a silly question

 

There is no such thing as a silly question

Let me tell you a story...  I was a nurse with several years of experience under my belt when I moved to San Francisco. I was promptly hired at UCSF, which was, and remains in my experience, an excellent hospital. UC, because of its reputation, is a center where patients with many of the more exotic and hard to treat conditions are sent for care. On one of my first days on the job I was getting the “change of shift” report from a nurse; I don’t remember much about her and don’t know that I ever interacted with her again. She was passing along information about a patient who would be under my care for the upcoming shift. This little guy had an unusual illness with a long complicated name, no doubt named after the folks who discovered it. For the purposes of this post, and since I have long forgotten what it was, I will call it Hughie, Dewie and Louis disease. Here is the thing - this wasn’t something that I once knew and had forgotten. I had never, ever heard of it. Not even a glimmer of an idea. “ So, Your patient X has HDL disease...These are his orders” “Hold on a moment, What is HDL? I am not familiar with it.” There was a pause and maybe a sneer “You haven’t ever heard of HDL?” I imagine that this was my opportunity to get a bit shame-faced and say, "Oh! HDL, of course" and continue to get the report, but I don’t work that way. One of the things I respect the most in a person is to be comfortable with what they don’t know.  This was long before the days where I could pull out a phone and simply google it. This was now a game of poker. Some of you may not know, but Nurse Judy plays poker in Vegas. “I have never, ever heard of it. Can you please tell me a bit about it so that I can take better care of the patient?" She doubled down, I think she had come too far to save face and was hoping I would cave first. “How long have you been a nurse? Where have you worked before this”? I decided that engaging further was a waste of time, so I posed the question to the other doctors and nurses who were in the room. “Is there anyone here who can tell me a bit about HDL?” There was a resident sitting there who was happy to tell me all about this very rare condition. EVERYONE in the break room was hanging onto his every word. Hmmm. Fortunately that was an isolated incident at UC, but I carried the lesson along with me. Being comfortable enough to acknowledge what we don’t know, and learning how to find the information we seek, are important skills. As parents this is an important message to pass along to our children. In the world of the internet, finding information is no longer the challenge that it used to be. The real issue these days is sorting through everything that is out there. You may need to sift through quite a bit of hogwash to find accurate information. If I am talking to a parent and they are confused about a dose, a diagnosis or anything, the LAST thing I want is for someone to be embarrassed that they aren’t “getting it” and give up before they have a clear answer to their question. It is the rare person who actually knows everything (and they are likely insufferable and socially awkward!) Knowing what you don’t know and asking for guidance is just as important now as it was when I was a young nurse. As a paying consumer of healthcare, it is your absolute right to make sure you understand everything you need to before leaving a medical appointment, and in fact, your child's health may depend on it!