Horrible Headlines |
I can't remember a time when we were not dealing with tough issues. Climate change, gun violence and divisive politics are examples that come to mind. Then along came the pandemic. That alone has had so many parents feeling like they were treading water for the past two years. It is exhausting. Your plates are full. Now there is a war taking center stage. Really? People have reached out to me to ask for advice. Many feel like they have reached their breaking point. How do you manage getting through the daily routines when current events make most of us want to curl up in a ball? Is there a way to completely insulate your kids from all that is going on? The first obvious step is to protect your kids from graphic news stories as best you can. Don’t have the TV droning on in the background of your lives. Are you watching the news from your laptop when they are nearby? That counts. Alas, your children don’t need to be watching tv to know when parents are devastated by things going on out in the world. Kids often pick up on the fact that something is “not right.” Don’t waste too much energy trying to act as if there is nothing wrong. Talking about things out in the open is so important. It does more than pave the way for future conversations. Honest communication keeps things from feeling like there is a bad secret. As Mister Rogers says, "Anything mentionable is manageable" In any event, avoiding tough conversations won’t make the issue go away. If your child seems completely oblivious, there may be no need to bring things up. If your child is more intuitive that is a different story. If you think they have a sense that something is amiss, then it is worth addressing it. You could start by asking your kids if they heard that something difficult is going on. Allow them to tell you what they have heard or seen. Make sure any discussions are age appropriate. I wish I had the perfect way to explain what is happening in the world right now. There is no way to make sense of war. Because so many of us are feeling helpless, so I am sending out this little reminder There are some things that are within our control and some things that are not. We need to be able to identify which is which. Things Out of our control
Lets focus on things that are in our control.
Yesterday I walked up to the top of Twin Peaks with my brother-in-law Richard. At the beginning of the pandemic we used to pop up there a few times a week. It has been months since we did that walk. This time there was a bit more huffing and puffing on my part. I am thrilled with the fact that my body graces me with the ability to get up there without passing out. For that hour I tried to turn off any negative thoughts. Richard has the habit of pointing out the gorgeous plants and flowers that we pass. And then there is the spectacular view which is a reward all by itself. How can I feel contentment when the world is in so much turmoil? How can any of us? Because we must. By no means should we afford ourselves the luxury of ignoring what is happening in world these days. It is essential to listen, pay attention, learn and support each other. Allow yourself to feel heartache over current events out there in the macro world. How can you avoid it! But parents, if you can, put some limits on it. Let your kids witness that you are still letting some light into the dark. If your microword is intact, revel in that. Find the joy. That is an essential lesson all by itself. For more resources on talking to your kids about the situation in Ukraine. |
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