Friday, May 12, 2017

Mother's Day Musings

Maternal -  How would you define that word? For me it evokes, unconditional love, guidance, nurturing.
For those of you in that middle generation, savor these years. You have your mom and your kids. If you are lucky, maybe there are some grandparents in the mix. Being the magic middle of the sandwich might present some challenges, but please TREASURE these years.
For the daughters and sons looking for the perfect gift, give the gift of time.
Go on a special outing, take lots of photos. The memories are more valuable than jewelry. Okay go ahead and throw in some chocolate covered strawberries, but you get the idea.
Actually forget the strawberries; give mom a nap!  Or a candle lit bubble bath (remove the bath toys!)
Make it a Mother’s Day tradition to tell your kids stories about your mothers, grandmothers, and great grandmothers. Did they have some favorite pieces of wisdom? Share them! Did they have some favorite songs? Sing them! 
On the other side of that coin, and not to put a dark cloud on the day for folks who are fully celebrating, but for many people Mother’s Day is one of those made up Hallmark Holidays that can range from being moderately uncomfortable to downright painful.
For me, it has been looming for weeks now like an impending shadow. This will be my first motherless Mother's Day. I am very aware and grateful I still get to revel in the wonderful relationship that I have with my daughters (and many of their friends), but but but but……..
Every time I turn on the TV or the radio, there it is, Mother’s Day, Mother’s Day, Mother’s Day. What are you going to buy your mother this year?  Where will you take your mother?  Show your mother how much you love her. Newspapers, magazines, Muni signs; Richard, my brother-in-law, calls it a capitalist plot.  It got me thinking. There must be so many of us out there. People who never had a mom, people who have lost a mom. Moms who lost a child, women who couldn’t have children, women who made the choice not to have kids but feel a twinge every once in awhile.
There are also so many wonderful families with no mommy but two amazing daddies.  How about immigrant families who are forced to be separated? The list goes on and on. Ouch!
What would my mom do? She would reach out and touch people who needed some love this week.
Let’s go back up to the word maternal at the beginning of this post. In my mind that word has very little to do with gender or biology. Who are the maternal figures in your life?. Reach out and give them a little acknowledgment (or a chocolate covered strawberry!)

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