Dr.
Schwanke is an avid reader who often sends me copies of articles that
catch his eye. The other day, he sent me one about Steve Jobs being a
low tech parent. Many of you may have seen it:
I realize that this is a topic that affects most of us.
There
is no disputing that we live in an ever changing world. Those who try
to ignore all the technology won't be able to keep up. As much as we may
be tempted to wrap the Luddite cloak around our households, is that
really fair to our kids?
On
the other hand, I want kids outside playing, not inside glued to a
screen (for the purpose of this post I am referring to screen time as
anything computer, tv or video related.) I want my patients to know what
it feels like to turn the pages of a real book, not just to swipe their
fingers across an Ipad. I want them to know how to get messy with
fingerpaints, not just how to create virtual art. I want them to
interact with friends in person, not with avatars online. How can we
find a balance?
You are still in charge of how much screen time your child gets.
I
think that there is absolute value in getting some. Technology offers a
vast array of education and entertainment. We can learn so much from
computers. The games are fun. Television has some nice programs. Having
some down time while you get something else done and your child is
happily engaged can be very helpful. How many of you have been in the
position when you want to strangle your partner because they voiced the
"no computer or videos for you ALL week!" as a consequence for some
errant behavior. Some of you need that down time more than the kids!
The
key is figuring out how much is too much. This is a plan that each
family should discuss and create. Some families will allow more than
others. Your own family should be the only one to make rules that make
sense to you, but please, set some sensible limits that apply to all of
you. Don't sabotage each other. If you have a partner, figure out the
rules that you both feel comfortable with. Make a plan and be
consistent. If your kids figure out that the rules are meaningless, you
have significantly weakened your credibility.
At
my solid foods class when I discuss "safe eating" I tell parents that
they need to set a good example. If you shovel food in your mouth and
talk with your mouth full, why would your child learn to eat any other
way? Put in a small piece of food, chew and swallow. Set the standard.
When it comes to being a role model, technology is no different.
If
you are always looking at a screen, if your forms of relaxation are all
technology related, consider making some small changes.
My
goal is for your child to have a healthy relationship with technology.
Learning how to use it at a young age will keep them on the level
playing field with others. Let them enjoy their allotment of tech time,
but focus on opportunities where they can have just as much fun reading a
book, or doing other things that don't have a screen involved. There
are so many options:
Having
a no TV/ no computer environment is not something that I recommend.
When your child emerges from that protective bubble, they may feel a bit
like Alice
in Wonderland. Back in the "olden days" when my kids were young, our
screen was simply the TV. They had friends come for play dates who were
not allowed any television at home. If I allowed it, the only thing
those kids wanted to do was watch tv because it was such a treat for
them. They had no balance.
Extra
screen time (still with limits) can be a commodity that can be earned
for good behavior. But because I don't want it elevated to the most
important thing in their lives, I would rather make the rewards that
they work towards be special non-tech activities with you.
Make sure you put some child control limits on your device:
There
are lots of apps out there, with more being developed all the time.
Some can help you make sure that all the sites that your child can
access are safe and appropriate, others can help you limit the time
allowed.
As
your child gets older, it becomes much trickier. It is reasonable for
rules to be renegotiated with each age. Have your child be part of the
discussion and verbalize understanding of the family rules. Until they
are a certain age, many experts agree that all computing should be done
in a common room.
May the force be with you...this is a tough one.
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