Friday, October 17, 2025

RSV 2025 When to worry/How to manage/ Clear up vaccine confusion

 RSV 2025

Historically, severe RSV disease was the number one reason babies under 12 months old were admitted to hospitals in the US. With the new RSV shots, that number may be changing.

November is typically the start of RSV season but it has come earlier for the past couple of years. Some seasons feel more intense than others. Just two years ago there were so many cases that nationwide, some children’s hospitals were having trouble finding room for all the sick kids. Last year wasn’t quite as bad. We shall see what this season has in store.

This post will review

  • What is RSV?

  • When do you need to worry?

  • Symptomatic treatment

  • How is it spread and what is the exposure period?

  • Tips to prevent

  • Testing

  • The RSV shots for babies

  • The RSV vaccine for pregnant moms

  • FAQ (including daycare, siblings and nursing moms)

What is RSV disease?

Respiratory syncytial (sin-SI-shul) virus, or RSV, is NOT new. It is a common, seasonal virus that without the confirmation of a positive test, may often simply be considered an especially bad cold. Like most viruses, it ranges in its severity from case to case. More than 50% of all children will get their first RSV infection by age 2, and 90-100% will have had it by age 3. In other words, RSV infection is a matter of when, not if. Let me repeat - I am sorry to say, but your child is likely to get this! No need to freak out…keep reading.

RSV often settles in the bronchioles. These are the little airways in the lungs that lead to the microscopic alveoli, the place where oxygen is pulled into the blood. They’re very deep, hence the deepness of the RSV cough.

Source: https://www.afterhourskids.com/symptoms/bronchiolitis-and-rsv

The virus causes these little airways to get clogged with mucus, making it difficult for air to pass. This is part of why the virus is so much worse for younger kids. Their smaller airway gets clogged more easily.

Some studies show that somewhere between 25-40% of young infants with the RSV virus will end up having bronchiolitis or pneumonia. That is a scary statistic, but to balance it out, here is some reassuring data: in the US, 99.4% of kids under 5, and 98.5% of kids under 6 months will not need to be hospitalized with RSV. By far, the majority of cases can be safely managed at home.

With RSV, not only do you have a runny nose, sniffling and sneezing, but you also have a harsh, deep cough and fever. You know the wretched colds that knock you flat! We actually can almost diagnose it just by hearing the distinctive cough. It is deep, wet and sounds like it hurts.

RSV comes on slowly, unlike the flu that usually has a sudden ‘hit by a truck’ onset. Generally the first signs are runny nose and decreased appetite. The cough comes along a few days later. It is also common to have mild to moderate fevers that can come and go for several days.

The symptoms are usually at their peak at the 3-5 day mark, but often last 8-10 days total. Once the majority of the symptoms have resolved, it is common for the cough to linger for several weeks. Mentally prepare for 21 days of coughing. As long as it is clear that you are moving in the right direction, that cough usually just needs time, patience, hydration and adequate sleep. It will pass.

Unfortunately RSV is not one of those viruses that is ‘one and done’. Sadly it takes multiple exposures before you develop immunity. Adults don’t get as seriously ill, but they still get it and are in for a miserable week. Most folks get RSV about 8 times until they finally seem to be not as vulnerable!

It spikes again in older folks when the immunity tends to wane. It can sweep through retirement communities, so be cautious for the older adults in your life as well. While hospitalizations for RSV are less frequent than those due to flu or covid, the likelihood for invasive ventilation or death from RSV is double the number from the flu and about the same as covid (fortunately there is now a vaccine for people over 60).

When to worry

Severe RSV disease symptoms usually include some abnormal breathing but there are some specific things to watch out for.

As Dr. Ted says, “Respiratory distress looks like your kid ran a baby marathon. It’s not subtle, and kids are not happy.” We worry when:

  • The skin is sucking in between or under the ribs with inspiration. These are called retractions.

  • The nostrils might be flaring out, and the baby’s head might be bobbing up and down.

  • The belly might be pulling in and out dramatically with breaths.

  • They might be gasping or grunting

  • There might be a bluish color around the mouth or fingernails

  • There might be coughing or wheezing that feels constant

  • The rate of breathing is fast. Breaths per minute vary by age. To get a baseline, try counting breaths when your kid is calm. It is fine to do it while they are sleeping. Count for 30 seconds and multiply by 2.

Also, check out the Tik Tok that Dr. Ted and I did. Seeing what labored breathing actually looks like is worth 1000 words

(if someone had told me a few years ago that I would be doing Tik Tok, I would not have believed them).

If you are reading this and your child is actually one of the few kids who is not coughing and doesn’t have a fever, we strongly recommend making note of what their normal breathing looks like before they get sick. Lift their shirt and get a baseline assessment.

Labored breathing is usually pretty obvious, but hydration is another big concern that sometimes gets missed. Warning signs include:

  • Dry mouth with cracked lips

  • Crying without tears

  • Urinating less often (smaller volume diapers that are happening a normal number of times per day are okay)

A dehydrated kid is almost never playing happily. They usually seem pretty droopy.

It is normal for the appetite to be very off. We don’t even worry if kids lose a bit of weight from a week of pathetic eating. They will gain it back when they are recovered. However if they are not drinking adequately, they may need to get checked to see if they need to get an IV for some hydration and nourishment.

Having an elevated fever is a symptom that often gets the parents the most worried. In general our attitude is that fevers are part of the package and can usually be managed with fever reducing meds or a tepid bath.

If the fever is making your child fussy and not responding to medication (meaning it isn’t coming down an hour after fever-reducing medications) or it is lasting longer than 5 days, then we would want to have your kid checked. This could be a sign that the RSV has turned into an ear infection and/or pneumonia (high fevers over 102 that respond to medications can usually wait for the next day to be evaluated. Click the link for more on fever management).

Bottom line - If your child is having trouble breathing, or significant trouble feeding, they may need to be hospitalized for a night or two for fluids, oxygen and observation.

Symptomatic Treatment

For mild cases, time tends to be the great healer. Your medical team can simply suggest the same symptomatic treatment and supportive care that we would do for any bad cold and cough.

Treat the fever as needed. Fevers need treatment if they’re interfering with your child’s ability to hydrate or sleep. These kids tend to look pretty miserable. If they are just warm but happy and drinking, they don’t require medication.

If you need some tips and trick getting the medicine in check out this post

If your child is having trouble eating because of all the congestion, try doing some clearing about ten minutes before a feeding.

To clear the nose, squirt some saline, xlear nose spray, or breast milk in each nostril. Next step is to suck it back out with either a Nose Frida/ aspirator or the Neil Med Naspira. I think these products are easier to use than the standard bulb aspirators. Some parents swear by the Oogie bearThis is a safe little scoop that can safely get into the nostril and remove the more stubborn boogers.

It is also helpful to keep their heads elevated. They may be more comfortable on a bit of an incline. Try to raise the mattress a bit. You can do this by putting a towel underneath or place thin books under two of the legs of the crib. For older kids, add an extra pillow. The American Academy of Pediatrics guidelines specify not to raise the head more than 10% when they are sleeping and you are not keeping an eye on them. If they’re napping but you’re in the room keeping an eye on them, you can raise the bed to 30% for easier breathing.

Let them sit in a steamy bathroom, and use a humidifier at night. Increase fluids during the day.

Warm fluids are great. For kids older than a year, honey is terrific. I especially like the manuka honey. Have a little tea party, invite the teddy bears. Boys can have tea parties, too. This can also be a good way to encourage them to drink.

If your little one is having a rough time your doctor may do a one-time trial of a nebulizer or inhaler to see if it helps. Some children may be prescribed steroids.

Traditional Chinese medicine can be very helpful to some as the infection runs its course. Dr. Den of the Acupuncture Den in SF keeps high quality pediatric herbal tinctures stocked in her office, and encourages the families in her practice to keep a bottle or two on hand, as they are most effective when used at the first signs of trouble. While some of the tinctures are highly specific, others can be used more generally (when you know your child is getting sick but you’re not sure yet what’s going on). In terms of the common cold, the flu, and RSV, the two tinctures Dr. Den recommends to keep in your medicine cabinet are CQ Jr (perfect for the first signs of illness) and Lung Qi Jr. (if it starts to move into the chest).

Here is Nurse Judy’s blog post with her anecdotal list of things you can do to boost and protect your immune system.

How is RSV spread and what is the exposure period?

This is NOT spread the same way as COVID which easily spreads through the air. RSV spreads through heavy droplets:

  • An infected person coughs or sneezes

  • You get virus droplets from a cough or sneeze in your eyes, nose, or mouth

  • You have direct contact with the virus, like kissing the face of a child with RSV

  • You touch a surface that has the virus on it, like a doorknob, and then touch your face before washing your hands.

According to the CDC, people infected with RSV are usually contagious for 3 to 8 days and may become contagious a day or two before they start showing signs of illness. However, some infants, and people with weakened immune systems, can continue to spread the virus even after they stop showing symptoms, for as long as 4 weeks.

Common Sense Advice on Infectious Containment

  • Wash your hands before touching your child.

  • Make sure others wash up too.

  • Clean toys, crib rails, and any other surfaces your baby might touch.

  • Try to keep your baby away from crowds.

  • Avoid anyone with a cold or fever. Snotty nosed toddlers are the biggest carriers. See suggestions below for dealing with this circumstance.

  • Don’t let anyone smoke near your baby. Tobacco smoke exposure can increase the risk of severe RSV disease.

After the Illness

If your child is unfortunate enough to get a nasty case of RSV, it may take a few weeks for the lungs to calm down. Many of them have an extra tough winter season.

After recovery, the lungs are unfortunately sensitive for a couple months. Every new cold seems to re-trigger the rattling in the chest, and some children can develop what sounds like a “wheeze” with illnesses. This doesn’t always mean that they have asthma.

Testing

There is a rapid test (a swab to the nose) that many offices can do to see if it is RSV or not. Usually they will test for flu and covid while they are at it. Believe it or not, some unfortunate kids can have more than one of those at the same time!

Unless your child is looking really sick, it is not always necessary to drag your kid in to get an official diagnosis since it doesn’t necessarily change the approach. Since RSV is a virus, the treatments are usually simply those listed above. Antibiotics would not be appropriate unless it progresses to a secondary infection.

That said, having an official diagnosis is sometimes helpful to know what to expect. Remember, RSV lasts a long time. Knowing that RSV is the cause of your symptoms can help you to avoid unnecessary antibiotics from an eager prescriber. It also never hurts to have the ears checked and the lungs listened to.

The RSV shot for infants

An RSV shot called nirsevimad (Beyfortus) is a novel shot for all newborns entering their first RSV season (historically winter or fall). It gives about 5+ months of protection and in full term newborns it decreases the chances of needing to go to a doctor for RSV by about 74%, and decreases the need for hospitalization by about 62%. These numbers are even higher when studied in preemies (29 to 35 weeks).

Beyfortus is not an immunization; it’s a pre-made antibody (it’s been approved as a medication). This is an important distinction, because unlike other childhood vaccines, it doesn’t stimulate the immune system. A typical tetanus shot gives a small piece of the tetanus bacteria to the immune system. In response, the immune system mounts an attack, which leads to the “yucky” feelings we get with shots: achiness, fatigue, sometimes even fevers. Beyfortus, as a pre-made antibody, just gives the immune system the final product. You get to skip all the steps in between, and all the accompanying side effects. The most common side effect is a small rash at the site of injection, which occurs in less than 1% of kids who get the shot.

Who gets Beyfortus?

The FDA approved Beyfortus for all children under 12 months old. It’s advised that infants get it right at the beginning of their first RSV season. It has been studied and is safe to give in the hospital after birth, during the first few days of life. It’s only 1 shot, there are no boosters.

The RSV shot for adults

There is also an RSV shot for adults called Abrysvo or Arexvy (who comes up with these names?)

These vaccines are available for folks over 60 who are more at risk for severe RSV. It is fine to get it at the same time as other vaccines.

Abrysvo is also approved for pregnant people. When given to someone who is pregnant the primary goal is to protect the fetus. The placenta loves antibodies, so any immune system activity in mom often goes to the baby ten-fold. When given between 32 and 36 weeks gestation, the RSV vaccine for pregnant people is able to decrease the rate of severe disease in babies by about 80% in the first 3 months of life, and more than 50% after 6 months. Moms can get the RSV vaccine at the same time as others, such as flu, Tdap and Covid.

Abrysvo or Beyfortus, which to get, or both?

Because nothing is ever simple, in most cases the decision needs to be made as to whether or not mom gets the shot or waits for the baby to get it.

  • Pregnant parents are advised to get the RSV vaccine for themselves between 32 and 36 weeks gestation during RSV season because protection takes 2 weeks to pass from mother to baby through the placenta. In most of the country, RSV season is considered to be from September to January.

  • Because of the 2-week delay in immunity for babies, anyone born before 34 weeks, or within 2 weeks of parental vaccination, are all advised to get Beyfortus.

  • If mom got her RSV vaccine and the baby was born 2 weeks or more later, the baby should not need Beyfortus.

Frequently asked questions

When can my little one go back to school?

Keeping your child home because they have a mild runny nose or lingering cough is not reasonable. However, kids with fevers and/or copious mucus should stay home.

I am nursing, do I need to stop? Can I still be around the baby?

Nursing moms who test positive should still continue to nurse their babies. This includes newborns. Just wear a mask and do thorough and frequent hand washing (and we are so sorry if you are dealing with this).

Do I need to keep my kids apart from each other?

Sigh, this is SO hard. It is almost impossible to quarantine family members. If there is an infant in the house, we would try hard to keep toddlers who have been exposed at least 6 feet apart (sneezing distance) from the baby. No kissing or hugging. Put them in charge of the ‘magic soap’ otherwise known as hand sanitizer. Tell them to make sure that anyone who is having direct contact with their new baby needs to use the magic soap first. Maybe furnish them with a new baby doll that they can cuddle with instead.

Dr Ted is currently starting to see a mild uptick in RSV cases. If you want to track the numbers for your location, click here

In normal times the site is updated weekly, That might be impacted by the current turmoil at the CDC.

California numbers are still being reported weekly

Friday, October 3, 2025

What's in your wallet?

Many of you might be familiar with that catch phrase for the Capital One credit card, but I am seriously asking. Do you actually know what exactly is in yours?

The other day a friend of mine called me in a bit of a tizzy. She came home from a morning of errands and realized that her wallet was no longer in her purse. She called me because at times I have a spooky ability to find lost things.

We checked the nooks and crannies of her car, all of the grocery bags and all the side pockets of her purse with no success.

The next step was to move into problem solving mode.

The first thing she did was to call the store where she last remembered using the wallet, to see if anyone had found it.

No one had turned it in. We had to assume it was gone. It was time for damage control.

The priority now was to put a hold on the credit cards in case the wallet had been stolen.

Calling the credit cards to cancel them is more of a challenge when you don’t actually have the card in front of you.

My friend had a recent bill and that gave her just enough information to get that taken care of (after ten minutes of shouting “AGENT”)

Some companies will do a temporary hold. That wasn’t the case with hers, so she had to cancel and have them send new ones.

She also reported the loss to the police. This can be done online. Doing this made a lot of sense to protect from potential fraud.

For the drivers license she had to deal with the DMV. No kidding around, losing a wallet is a giant pain in the butt.

But, when sucky things happen, there is usually a lesson!! This situation provided several.

Pay attention and don’t just read this. Be proactive.

Learnings.

Consider having an airtag or tracking device on keys and wallet. There are trackers that look like credit cards that slip right in. I have one of the basic airtags in mine, and my wallet makes a funny little jingle whenever I move it. I don’t actually have an iphone but my kids do, it is linked to my daughter Alana’s account. If I lose it, she will be able to track it.

Take a photo of your important cards, front and back.

Print and place in a secure file. This way you have the account numbers handy and won’t have to search for the correct number to call.

If you store that in the cloud, make sure it is in a separate password protected file.

For driver licenses create a DMV account, That will make it easier to replace a lost card. If you have your login info and drivers license number, you can print out a temporary card and won’t necessarily need to go in.

We didn’t think about it at the time, but it would have been an extra level of security to put a fraud alert on the 3 credit bureaus so that a warning pops up if someone tries to open a new credit card in your name. For an extra level of security, put freezes on your credit files at the 3 main credit bureaus - TransUnion, Equifax and Experian. Without releasing the freeze, not even you can open new lines of credit!

Don’t Carry:

Anything that you don’t really need with you. You don’t need every credit card you own for a trip to the grocery story.

Something like your global entry card can be carried when you are doing international travel, but doesn’t need to live in your wallet

Do Carry:

Insurance cards

AAA or roadside assist cards or info

Something you need for a planned outing, such as your zoo membership card (although many are on your phone these days)

Our story had a happy ending. Three days after it was lost, she got a call from the local police station letting her know that someone had turned it in, completely intact. It is so nice to know that there are honest people out there!


Thursday, September 25, 2025

The timing of the Hep B series/ OMG did RFK jr read my old blog post?

 I was just traveling for several weeks and while I was gone I did not turn on a television or pay attention to any headlines. That is easier than you might think in the Serengeti and then the Sahara Desert. It was a much needed break. (Yes, I know how lucky I am!)

When I got home, I was not surprised that there were piles of troubling headlines about all sorts of things.

One of the things that the media was spinning about is a recent statement by our health secretary about whether or not the Hepatitis B vaccine should continue to be routinely given to newborns in the hospital.

Let me be clear that I am pro vaccination, I believe that Tylenol is safe and I am not in favor of the manner in which this current Health secretary is managing his department. (UNDERSTATEMENT)

But as the saying goes, even a broken clock is right twice a day.

His recent recommendation is somewhat consistent with this post that I wrote 11 years ago.

Here is the post:

THE TIMING OF THE HEP B SERIES

Nurse Judy Blog August 2014

Deciding whether or not to vaccinate your child is a decision that some parents struggle with.

It can be hard to find a balanced discussion. The internet is full of one sided rhetoric (both pro vaccine and the anti vaccine factions are guilty of this).

Can vaccinations have some side effects? Absolutely.

Do they always work? Of course not.

That being said, I personally believe that vaccinations save lives and that the benefits overwhelmingly outweigh the concerns.

The first immunization that is given to many babies is the Hepatitis B vaccine. There are different forms of Hepatitis. The B strain is mostly contracted through blood exposure, intravenous drug use or sexual activity.

Hepatitis B is no joke. It is 100 times more contagious than HIV. It can lead to liver cancer and death. 70-80% of newborns who contract it will become “chronic carriers” and never be able to clear it. The Hepatitis B vaccine was approved in 1981 and has over 40 years of proven safety. It was actually the first cancer preventing vaccine.

In this country, most hospitals will automatically give this within a day or so of birth unless you tell them otherwise. If mom is Hepatitis B positive (It is important to know your Hepatitis B status, check with your OB if you don’t) it is essential for the baby to get the protection as soon as possible.

Here is where I stray a bit from the rules.

If mom has tested negative for hepatitis B, then I am perfectly comfortable if you decide to hold off from getting it as soon as your baby is born. Of course, there is absolutely no downside to the official recommendation of getting that first one over with before getting discharged from the hospital. But if you are feeling overwhelmed with things and want a bit more time before jumping into the immunization program, I have no issues with parents who want to put off that immediate new-born dose. However, don’t delay too long. I would suggest getting started with it at the one month visit.

If you are reluctant to have your young child get the Hepatitis B vaccine altogether please consider this.

Your child is indeed probably fairly low risk. But the risk is NOT zero.

Hepatitis B can survive outside of the body for at least several hours.

I know of more than one case in my city where an unsuspecting child found a syringe in a playground. Living in any urban environment means there is a risk for exposure.

Currently in California most day-cares and schools still require the series along with the other routine immunizations before admission. So, your child will need to get the Hep B series within the first few years of life, unless you homeschool.

It is much easier on your child to get this shot added to the rounds of shots that are given that first year of life. A few extra shots makes no difference to them.

If you delay until they are over a year, suddenly they are much more aware of every poke and trust me, you will be glad that you got these over with when they were oblivious.

If you are one of the parents who opted to delay it, make certain that your teenager is well protected.

The Hepatitis vaccine is a three part series. It has a proven, excellent safety record. When I was actively giving it, there was usually no reaction what-so-ever. This is not even one of the shots that seems ‘stingy’. In many cases, the babies didn’t even give a whimper.

For more information, the CDC Hepatitis B vaccine information sheet can be viewed at the following link.

SO to be clear:

Science shows that the HEP B vaccine is safe.

Giving your child protection from potential exposure to Hepatitis B is beneficial to their long term health.

If you are NOT 1,000% clear on mom’s hep B status, it is important to get it as part of the newborn interventions

If mom is Hep B negative, there is no issue getting the series started at your one or two month visit.

Your teen might be the one who remains a virgin and steers clear of any risky behaviors. Make sure they get it anyway. If you do it when they are babies, you can check it off your list.

Can I turn off the news again?

Tuesday, August 26, 2025

Travel Tips 2025 /A little prep can go a long way!

 I am off on an adventure for the next several weeks. In honor of traveling I am updating an old post. When I asked Lauren if she wanted to share any travel tips, her immediate response was “don’t travel with an 18 month old.” Sweet, busy Coby certainly kept them on their toes during their most recent flights to and from Michigan.

When is your baby old enough to fly?

There are many different factors to consider, so there is no one simple answer to this very common question.

In ordinary circumstances, I would prefer to have the babies wait until they are over 2 to 3 months of age and have had their first set of immunizations (keep in mind that the first shot does NOT give full protection against some serious illnesses, but it is a start.)

No situation is exactly the same. The size of the baby as well as the time of year are important factors.

There are certainly some circumstances where people make the choice to fly if there aren’t other easy options.

Adopted babies might fly within the first week in order to get to their new home. Other folks may choose air travel earlier than we are really comfortable with in order to see an aging relative or deal with a family crisis.

If the travel is for vacation purposes, I would think long and hard before taking a young baby on a plane if there is a surge of covid, flu or ‘who knows what else’, actively circulating,

Keeping current on the news is important. Try to find a trusted and reliable source.

Regardless of how old your child is, if you are planning a trip here are some tips and things to keep in mind.

Before you leave

Murphy’s law is watching. Prior to the trip, do a little scouting to see what urgent care facilities or ERs are available.

Check with your insurance company in advance to see what the best method is for having out of state or international doctor visits covered. Some insurance plans are much easier to deal with than others. Some plans will only cover an emergency room and won’t reimburse for an urgent care. Others need prior authorization from your primary doctor. Be familiar with your plan and figure all of that out ahead of time to avoid a hefty bill.

If your child has a history of wheezing or any type of chronic condition it is wise to bring all medications along even if they haven't needed them in a while.

Keep in mind that infrequently used asthma inhalers may need to be primed before use.

If you are traveling somewhere exotic it is worth checking with a travel clinic to see if there are special travel vaccines or malaria precautions necessary. A good travel clinic keeps current with all the ever changing recommendations and considerations for each country and season. Plan in advance because some vaccinations need to be given several weeks in advance in order to be effective.

https://wwwnc.cdc.gov/travel is a good starting point to figure out what you might need.

If you are traveling out of the country where there is potential unrest, it may be worthwhile to register your journey with the state department https://mytravel.state.gov/s/step

Make sure that a friend or family member has a copy of your passport information.

Surviving the flight

On a flight years ago I sat next to a mom with a very young baby. She was so concerned about the possibility of getting evil looks from the other passengers that she had actually brought ear plugs to hand out to the people sitting around her. What she didn't have was anything to soothe her baby. Please always make sure that you have Tylenol or Motrin with you on the plane (not packed away in your suitcase). It is okay to bring small bottles through security. They need to be smaller than 3.5 ounces. It isn’t usually necessary to give it ahead of time if your child is acting well, but I am quick to medicate during the first sign of fussiness.

Many parents ask about giving Benadryl to help them (you can decide which ‘them’ I am referring to) get through the flight. This is an option for a child who is over 8 months with a long flight ahead. It helps dry up any congestion and makes 90% of kids who take it deliciously sleepy. Aha, but what about the other 10% you might ask? It turns those little darlings into hyperactive, wild hooligans. You do not want to find out on the plane that you are the parent of the 10%. You may want to give a test dose a few days prior to the trip to make sure it is a viable option for you.

There is no such thing as infant Benadryl and many labels will warn not to give it to children under 4. Obviously you don’t want to give it for no reason, but it is generally considered to be safe, so many doctors routinely ignore the label. Check with your doctor for their opinion.

I really prefer NOT to give any medication unless it is necessary but my instinct tells me that it is important to have tools with you to manage a horrible flight.

Having an antihistamine with you as part of your travel meds makes sense. I had a patient who had an unexpected allergic reaction to something on a long-haul flight over the pacific. The fact that they had zyrtec with them stopped it from being an emergency.

While I would usually err on the side of less medication, it is important to be reassured that Benadryl/zyrtec and Tylenol/Motrin can be given at the same time.

Seats

It doesn’t always work, but try selecting the aisle and window when picking your seats. The middles are the last to go, so there is always a chance that the middle will remain empty, or if there is ANY other place available, the person next to you will happily relocate.

Ear pain

Babies and young kids can have trouble with their ears because of the anatomy of their eustachian tubes. It is usually worse during the descent. Sucking can help. Try to nurse or have them feeding during takeoff and landing. A pacifier is another good option.

Unfortunately it isn’t just young kids who can be impacted. Raise your hand if you have had ear issues when flying (my hand is up)

If you or your child has a history of ear trouble, bring along some of the little reusable gel heating packs in your bag. You can activate them as needed and the warmth feels great to a sore ear. For adults and older kids, you can equalize the pressure by holding the nose and gently blowing until the ears pop.

For older kids, have a lollipop or chewing gum for older kids. Ayr saline gel is a nice thing to have along. A dab at the base of the nostrils can moisturize the dry air and make breathing easier

Motion sickness

If you or your child has issues with motion sickness? This blog post has a long list of things you can try. Plan ahead.

Diapers

Take WAY more diapers with you than you think you need for the trip. I was once on a flight when we sat on the tarmac for three hours. There was an unfortunate family behind me who had planned on a short little trip and was out of diapers long before we took off. It wasn't pretty. Plan accordingly.

Many folks automatically bring a change of clothes for their baby. It is also worth bringing an extra outfit for yourself. If you have a long flight ahead of you with a child on your lap, it may come in handy (I learned that one the hard way and sat for several hours covered with poop.)

Changing your baby on the plane can be a challenge. It is helpful to have little changing packs, with a diaper and some wipes, in individual zip lock bags. This will prevent you from having to take the entire bulky diaper bag with you into the tiny bathroom.

Bring some disinfectant wipes along and give the tray table and any surfaces a nice wipe down before you use them.

Snacks and warming bottles

You can't count on airlines giving you any reasonable snacks, so it is important to bring along enough provisions in case of delays. Bring more than you think you need. Bring an empty water bottle that you can fill once you are through security If you are bringing anything sticky, make sure you have accessible wipes.

If you might need to heat up a bottle, bring a large plastic cup and get some hot water from the flight attendants. My daughter Lauren says that a hydroflask is another good option for keeping a bottle warm for hours.

Activities

Some planes have screens and games, but don’t leave it to chance.

Download some activities or shows ahead of time for your laptop or tablet. None of us want to overdo screen time, but if you have managed to keep it special, a long flight is the perfect time to make use of this tool. Make sure you have charging cables and headphones so that you aren’t driving the other passengers nuts.

Don't forget about the old fashioned low tech options!

Here is an absolute winner that kept my kids engaged for hours,

If you are visiting family, print out a bunch of photos of the people you are going to see. You can use these for all sorts of art projects on the plane. Make a paper doll family! Glue the faces onto some popsicle sticks, This can help your kids recognize folks that they don't see too much of.

Wikki sticks are also a great activity to bring along. They are lightweight and not too messy. Reusable stickers will stick on the window. Don't bring anything that will make you sad if you lose it in between the seats.

The story below is one of my more epic fails.

Long ago when my daughter Lauren was two, I got creative as I was planning for an upcoming flight as a solo parent. I had seen a craft in a magazine where a necklace had been made of cereal. This seemed like a fabulous thing for an airplane trip.

Unfortunately, not all ideas turn out to be good ones. Lauren and I strung some Cheerios onto elastic and she proudly wore her new necklace onto the plane. Soon after take-off Lauren decided to eat some of the Cheerios. I noticed with some dismay that as she bit off a Cheerio, a portion would go into her mouth while other parts would shoot off like little spitty projectiles. They were landing (unnoticed by anyone but me) on just about everyone within three rows of us. As soon as I realized what was happening, I tried to see if there was a way for her to adjust and nibble them off without making a mess. When that didn't work, I tried to take the necklace off to make it easier or to have her stop eating them at all. But as mentioned, she was two. My choices were clear... tantrum on the plane or unsuspecting fellow passengers having little pieces of spitty Cheerios in their hair.

I opted for peace (besides, ignorance is bliss, right?)

Once you get to where you are going

Make sure the place is adequately child proofed. This is also a discussion that is worth having with your hosts before you get there. I had one situation where a 3 year old opened a drawer and got into grandma and grandpa's medications. Have folks do a little child-proofing before you get there.

Is there a pet where you are going? Make sure that any dogs are safe with children.

Do they have unsecured weapons? You can’t assume the answer is no. Ask.

If you are staying in a vacation home, do a quick safety check. Do they have working smoke detectors? Carbon monoxide detector?A fire extinguisher?

Is there a pool? Is it safely enclosed?

Jet lag

Time zones are tricky. My best suggestion is eat when you are hungry, sleep when you are tired and just do your best. Staying hydrated and getting fresh air are essential. Sunshine is a bonus.

Melatonin is a reasonable tool for older kids.

My friend Oran wrote an excellent piece. This link has wonderful information for dealing with jet lag.

Sleep Training and maintaining a schedule

You can reset when you get home.

Even the best sleepers may have a period of needing a sleep training tune up when you get home.

Do the best you can

You can have lots of fun while you are away and it is wonderful to see family. But, in my opinion, if you are traveling with children under the age of seven, don't call it a vacation. It's not. It is a TRIP (we used to call our visits to the various grandparents the "bad bed tour.")

A little preparation goes a long way and remember that some of the more challenging moments make for the best stories!

There are some things in your control and things that are not.

  • Plan the best you can to be prepared for the flight.

  • Bring snacks and activities.

  • Have Tylenol with you on the flight just in case

  • Don’t bring things that will make you sad if you lose them, and leave the loud chirpy toys at home

What isn’t in your control is the other passengers.

Indeed there are unpleasant folks out there, but I think most people are very accepting. Focus on the smiling faces, but let anything else slide off your back.