But, when I reviewed my old picky eating post, it felt a bit outdated. Hence this fresher edition.
I asked my daughter Lauren to weigh in with her wisdom. She is clearly doing something right (okay, perhaps we can add a dollop of luck since every child is so different) but so far I marvel at what an adventurous eater my oldest grandson EJ is. Sushi, Ethiopian, Burmese…. Bring it on! He tries just about anything. Hopefully Coby will follow in his big brother’s footsteps. So far so good.
Picky eating 2024
There are plenty of parents out there who swear that their toddlers simply don't eat. Amazingly enough, these same kids are growing and developing just fine.
It is more common than you might think for young kids to be erratic eaters. There are days when they eat whatever is in front of them and others where parents celebrate if they eat two bites.
It doesn’t matter that it is normal, it stresses parents out!
There are things you can do to start off on the right track.
Offer a variety
Some experts say that toddlers and preschool kids identify foods as either "familiar" or unfamiliar. If they haven't tried it before, this is not the age when they are apt to become adventurous eaters. For this reason I strongly encourage you to offer an assortment of foods to your children their first year of life. Make sure you are giving them a variety of colors, shapes and consistencies. Although I really advise about adding any extra salt, other spices are fair game. Add as many foods as possible to the list of things that they are comfortable with before they move into that stubborn toddler phase.
If your nine month old seems to be having trouble with the mechanics of eating, it is worth having a conversation with your pediatrician so see about getting a referral to an appropriate resource.
Be aware of the power of attention
The "quest for attention" is something that has its own blog post, but for our purposes here, trust me, kids love attention of any sort. If they find that they can get a big rise out of mom or dad when they don't eat, well you guessed it, they will ignore the food and sit back to watch "the make my parents nuts" show. Avoid that trap if you can.
It is NOT the intent to be making mealtimes all about how much kids are actually eating, but little appropriate bits of positive attention can go a long way.
Make sure you are noticing behaviors that you want to see more of.
Hey, let's feel your muscles because you just did such a good job eating that nice 'growing food.
Did you eat carrots? That is so good for your sparkly eyes!
I see you taking small bites, chewing and swallowing. That is nice safe eating! (and give a nice thumbs up signal)
Making sure that they overhear you tell someone about what you saw, also counts
Grandma, I am so proud that ____ tried something new
If there is another child nearby, take full advantage of the opportunity and praise good eating observations; chances are your child won't want to be left out. If they see you making a fuss over someone else it usually doesn't take long before they are modeling the same behavior
Look, I ate my broccoli too, feel MY muscles.
Behaviors that you want to see less of should be ignored within reason.
Oh, you are tossing your food on the floor, that means you aren't hungry. That shows me that you are finished eating, I am going to take the food away now.
Make sure you are quiet and matter of fact. Don't make a huge fuss. You can give them another chance in a bit. With many behavior challenges, consistency is key. It might take a dozen times until they realize you mean what you say.
Give them a better option. Offer a ‘no thank you’ bowl. This is a place where they can deposit food that they don’t want to eat rather than throwing it on the floor.
Eating with the family is a bonus. Try to make mealtimes a positive experience. Talk about everyone’s day. Focus should be on being together rather than how many peas someone eats.
Below are some tried and true tips that may help you along.
Give your kids very small amounts that they can actually finish. You can always add more. Many kids will get overwhelmed by too much on their plate and won't even have any of it.
Not every meal has to be a performance, but there are things you can do to encourage kids to try new things.
Make a face out of the food, 2 peas for the eyes, a piece of chicken for the nose,... etc. Make it a game, and laugh when they eat part of your design.
There are plates that you can buy that have pictures or faces that can get uncovered when they eat.
You can also consider making your own place mats. Blow up some photos of your family, laminate them and use them accordingly.
Let's see if we can eat the tofu and find mommy's face.
Use cookie cutters to make your sandwiches into interesting shapes.
Make a meal with a theme. One meal can be things that are orange, another day you can do things that are curly.
Make smoothies with all sorts of wonderful ingredients. See if your toddler wants to help drop things into the blender and help turn on the power. Pour the smoothie into a special super hero cup that is used only for the super hero drink.
Many kids like to dip things. Little sticks of assorted veggies that they can dip into some hummus or yogurt dip makes a nice healthy snack.
Some kids like adding grated cheese to food. They can sprinkle it or get a safe grater and let them do it themselves
Muffin tins make great little food trays, especially for those kids that don't want their different foods to touch, heaven forbid.
Kids like to eat things that they have helped with.
Get in the habit of good handwashing before handling food.
Kids with long hair should have it tied back.
Make sure you have a safe stool that allows them to easily reach the counter
Invest in some safe kids cooking tools, so that they can be even more hands on.
Allow them to sprinkle spices (again, try to minimize the use of salt).
Put the desired amount in small separate bowls so that you don’t need to worry about them dumping an absurd amount of something directly from the jars.
Stirring the food is another helpful job.
When your children are old enough (this is especially useful if you have more than one) let them take turns being on the "make the meal team". No one else is allowed in the kitchen except the chefs. Make an event out of it. Put on your matching aprons.
They can even decorate a menu.
Not everything you try is going to be a complete success.
I did a little experiment with Elliot. I brought out some food coloring to see if we could make a meal a little exciting.
Here are some of the things I learned
Trying to get a 3 year old to limit anything to 1 or 2 drops is a challenge
Mixing 2 colors is great (and a fun way to learn about primary colors) but it is so hard to stop at two or even 3..more often than not we ended up with various shades of brown
Drinking rainbow milk is fun
Let other caregivers know what you were up to so that they aren’t surprised by the fascinating poops that come from drinking that rainbow milk
The color will come off your hands with a good scrub of soap and water. If it is stubborn, you can rub a little toothpaste on it and then rewash with soap. Talking about that process in advance would have been wise.
Mealtimes should not be 24/7
Some experts suggest that kids who have the option of grazing all day may not do as well at meal times and this can contribute to picky eating.
Toddlers and preschoolers tend to accept the concept that there are times when the ‘The kitchen is open’ and other times when ‘The kitchen is closed’. It is fine to create new rules. They will get used to it.
They don’t really have a clear concept of time, but this is more like a red light green/light concept.
Drinking water is always an option if they want something in between meal or snack times.
You can also add a “last call” ; This can get rid of the bedtime delay tactic of I’m still hungry.
A note about bedtime snacks
A nice snack before bed can become part of the nightly routine. This would be right before toothbrushing.
It can fill in any nutritional needs they might have missed during the day.
Try to avoid anything high in sugar, but a high protein snack can actually help with a good night’s sleep.
A cup of warm milk contains tryptophan, which also might help with sleep.
You can ‘hide’ food (but don’t lie about it)
You can sneak ground up veggies into pancakes, breads, muffins or meatballs
If your little one is genuinely having a hard time getting enough calories, consider adding some pediasure.com
Sugar and Dessert
I like to refer to food as “growing food” or not. If your child eats a reasonable amount of growing food, it is fine to offer an occasional dessert. Please don’t associate it with a reward or “being good”. It's a delicate balance. I have found that If you completely make sweets unattainable, they become much more interesting.
Nothing but Noodles
If you have one of those kids that is set on only one or two food groups that they accept willingly, be prepared to have one of their ‘safe’ foods as a backup.
Family rule might be that they try one bite of what the rest of the family is eating (applause for trying).
If they don’t like it, calmly offer the noodles (or whatever it is they like to eat). Try to avoid turning it into a power struggle.
The ultimate goal?
Helping your child have a healthy relationship with food!
I hope some of these tips are helpful.
Thanks to my models, EJ, Coby and Sawyer
