Astrological Shenanigans

It is always somewhat interesting having a sister who dabbles in astrology.

 When I was nearing my due date with my first born Lauren, and my older sister Marjie suggested that I wait several days so that the moon would be in a better aspect, I gave her exactly the response (not suitable for this piece) that you would expect from someone who was more than ready to be done with pregnancy. 

 When Alana was born, Marjie didn’t bother trying to fine tune my timing, but she did predict from reading Alana’s chart that she would take her time with things getting started, but would master them quickly. 

 It was fascinatingly accurate. Using walking as an example. Alana waited until she was roughly 15 months old and took her first steps, carrying a chair across the room. Most of her milestones followed a similar pattern. 

 But for the most part, when Aunt Marjie came out with her predictions, we would lovingly roll our eyes. 

 I didn’t pay too much attention until 1998 after I had an especially irritating day. I had driven the carpool full of kids to school that day. We drove there without incident, but once we had arrived, there was smoke coming out from under the hood of my car. I called a tow truck, and Sandy, always the hero, left his office downtown to pick me up and drive me to work. On the way, I ended up spilling coffee on my lap, so I spent the rest of the day needing to explain to people that I had in fact NOT peed in my light colored pants. Then, to compound things, my wallet was stolen from my purse during lunch. Really??? 

 Once I got home and did all the calls cancelling credit cards and all the other hoopla that is required when you lose your wallet, I placed a call to Marjie. 

 “Is there something going on up in the planets that I need to know about"? 

It turns out that according to her charts, indeed there was. 

Uranus was transiting my Neptune...or something of that ilk. She went on and on trying to explain it, but I cut right to the chase.

 “Is it done?” 

 Alas, Marjie went on to tell me that this was somewhat of a figure eight situation that would happen again in several months. Of course that didn’t mean I would necessarily have any issues, these were just tendencies. Just tendencies or not, I asked her to please make a note of it and let me know when Uranus was going to be back to causing me trouble. 

 Life went on. Several months later, I got a call from Marjie. 

“Remember that business several months ago? Tomorrow might be tricky for you. I don’t think you should drive anywhere.” 

 The aggravation of that previous nasty day had been relegated to distant memory. 

“I don’t think the other carpool families would be happy with me if I opt out of my driving tomorrow.” “Do what you need to do, but make sure you have your cell phone charged and have your AAA card with you.” 

 Safe to say, I was back to being pretty dismissive all of this. The following day, I drove to school with all the kids and parked in the lot to do a bit of shmoozing with some of the other parents. Imagine the range of my emotions when I got back in the car and it wouldn’t start. You had to be kidding me! 

The emotion that won the battle was humor. I figured that I may as well just laugh at the absurdity. I had my phone and AAA card at the ready. 

 “What seems to be the problem?” 

 I couldn’t help myself and I actually answered, “It appeared that Uranus is transiting Neptune” 

 They laughed, Tow truck came, Shoulders shrugged. 

 Fast forward to this January when Lauren was due with my first grandchild; of course the charts came out. 

When Lauren went into labor, Marjie got very active in our family chat. The actual time of birth was going to be the fine tuning, but now that she was pretty clear on the date, she started with her predictions. 

 “He is a very wise soul that spent lifetimes in pursuit of knowledge. Mercury in proximity to the sun indicated strong mental abilities. He will be stubborn. He will be very generous. Saturn is squaring Mars. I am guessing that he will have a visible birthmark that could well be an indicator of a trauma from a past life” 

 Whoa. I went into a private chat.

 “Marjie..you need to hold off on all of this. Lauren is in active labor, I don’t know if she is checking her phone in between panting and blowing, but I don’t think this is helping.” 

 She kept the rest of her predictions to our private chat. It turns out that the baby does indeed have a little strawberry birthmark on his upper back, right behind his heart. Lauren wouldn’t let us tell her aunt...until now.  

Marjie, in honor of your birthday this week, we can let you know that once again, you got it right.

Poisonous plant guide/

Different events can trigger me to update old posts. 

I have brushed off the toxic plant blog several times over the years, but I have a different twist on it this time around. 

The earlier version of the post focused solely on young kids and plant safety but the incident that brought this to mind for me recently involved grown ups. 

 A group of people who are quite close to me were out in the country. 

They came across what they believed to be some wild onions and cooked them up as part of the dinner. It was only after several of them started to feel ill that they got suspicious and did some checking to find that they had actually eaten something called a death camas. 

Nothing like a name with death in it to ramp up the anxiety level! 

I think most people have been taught over the years the dangers of wild mushrooms and potentially toxic berries. I personally had never even heard of wild onions or their poisonous twin. 

 Fortunately they hadn’t eaten enough to have severe issues, but it could have been so much worse. 

One of the women who had eaten the poisonous plant was breast feeding; no one was able to give her much information about this, so the poor mom ended up pumping and dumping her breastmilk for two full days just to be on the safe side.

 Another of the people who ate part of the meal and did not get terribly affected said afterwards that he had a feeling that this was less than prudent, but didn't speak up. 

 My brother-in-law who is a national park ranger told me of a time that he had to have someone airlifted for emergency medical care after eating death camas. 

This person was a Native American man who had grown up eating wild onions and got caught off guard by the look alike plant. 

 The takeaways here are clear. Don’t eat any wild plants unless you are 100% certain that they are safe. If you see others taking chances, don’t be shy about being a party pooper, SPEAK UP! 

Foraging plants in the wild has become more and more popular. Please be cautious! Most of the time when toxic plants are a concern of course, is when young kids decide to nibble on some house plants. This is a good reminder for all of us that we need to be knowledgeable about plants that our kids come in contact with. 

 In most of the cases of these plant eaters, the kids aren’t showing any obvious signs that there was an issue. 

Typically if someone eats something that is toxic, and there is cause for concern, you would expect to have obvious symptoms. 

To be on the safe side, the best course of action if you know your child has eaten something you aren’t sure about is to check in with the Poison Control Center. In California that number is 1-800-222-1222 

 The Poison Control Centers here in the United States report that they get more than 100,000 annual calls about plant or mushroom exposure. 

Knowing what plant your child actually came in contact with is very helpful to them. 

Unfortunately, most of the time all we know is that it has leaves and is green. I would place a bet that many of us can't actually identify the plants we have in our homes and yards, and therefore have no idea about whether or not they are a potential hazard. 

 Different plants will cause a variety of symptoms. Just like a sensitivity to food, not all kids will be equally reactive to an exposure. Reactions can range vomiting, diarrhea, cramping, a rash or fussing, to more severe seizures, paralysis, heart irregularities and/or death. Mushrooms are the biggest culprits for severe reactions, but as I mentioned they are by no means the only thing to be aware of.

 Step one is to teach your children not to put any part of a plant in the mouth (yeah, good luck with that…..) This means leaves, stems, bark, seeds, nuts, berries, and bulbs. 

Unfortunately kids will chew or eat things regardless of how they taste or the level of disgustingness. Depending on the plant, eating a tiny amount might not be an issue, but large or repeated doses can be harmful. 

I know it just about impossible to watch them every second, so it is important for you to be able to recognize plants that are more hazardous and limit access to those. Some plants will cause irritation just by coming in contact with them. 

Locally the most common culprit for that is poison oak. Some succulents and cacti aren’t poisonous but can cause a wicked scratch from getting too close to their spikes. 

 If you have small children or curious pets, consider removing toxic or hazardous plants. 

If you are attached to a plant that is on the list, perhaps lend it to a friend or neighbor until your little one is out of the "everything in the mouth" stage. 

 In general, toxic or not, house plants should be placed out of reach of the very young. You also need to pay attention to falling leaves, which can be a choking hazard. If there are other houses or places that you frequent with your kids, make sure those plants are safe as well. 

 If you are a gardener, make sure you store labeled bulbs and seeds in a safe place where your kids and pets don’t have access to them. 

 For the older kids, I would do some active teaching about plant safety. Make a point of teaching them that it isn’t safe to suck nectar from flowers or make "tea" from mystery leaves. Never chew, or let children chew on jewelry made from seeds or beans. You might even do some role playing to help them avoid peer pressure: “I dare you to eat one of those berries” “You can dare me all you want, My family rules are more important and we don’t put mystery plants in our mouth”  

 Below is a list of some of the common house and garden plants with poisonous parts. Plants causing severe or fatal poisoning are marked *. Plants causing rashes are marked with°. 

Plants                  Poisonous Parts

African violet              Leaves

Amaryllis-garden              Bulbs

Azalea *                       Leaves

Castor bean                  All parts

Cherries *                 Seeds and leaves

Citrus fruits                  Leaves

Crown of thorns°              Milky sap

Cyclamen*                    Tuber

Daffodil*                       Bulbs

Delphinium                    Young plant, seeds

Elephant ear*                   All parts

Figs°                          Milky sap

Four o'clock*                   Root, seeds

Foxglove*                     Leaves

Holly-English                   Berries

Hyacinth*                     Bulbs

Hydrangea                     Leaves

Impatiens                     Young stems, leaves

Iris°                         Rhizomes

Ivy:

English; German; ground  Leaves, stems, berries

Larkspur*                     Young plants, seeds

Laurel

Australian; mountain     All leaves

Lily-of-the-Valley                Leaves, flowers

Lilies                         Bulbs

Lupines                      Leaves, pods, seeds

Mistletoe*                     Berries

Narcissus*                     Bulbs

Oaks                         Acorns, foliage

Oleander*                    All parts

Peaches                      Seeds, leaves

Philodendron                   Stems, leaves

Plums                       Seeds, leaves

Poinsettia*                     Milky sap

Potato-Irish                   Green skin on tubers

Primrose                     Leaves, stem

Rhododendron*                Leaves

Rhubarb*°                   Leaves

Sweet peas                     Stem

Tomato                      Green foliage

Tulip*                       Bulbs

Wisteria                       Pods and seed

Yew*                        Foliage, bark, seeds

Here is a more comprehensive list of toxic plants :

Pets can also have different reactions to certain plants. This link provides a list of plants that are toxic for your pets:

When I wrote this piece a few years ago it prompted Alana to rehome some lilies with us. I am happy to report that her kitties and the plant all doing well.

Lessons from my mom

This week's topic Lessons from my mom I lost my mom 4 years ago in March. 

Her wisdom is with me always. 

 Mom was a teacher. She was that favorite teacher that people never forget. 

Over the years, former students reached out to say how my mother was the one who steadied them, gave them a sense of what they could do, and sent them off better able to cope with the path ahead.

 Teaching was not only her career, but one of the main cores of who she was. 

 I would like to honor her memory on her birthday this week by refreshing this post that I wrote a few years ago, and pass along some of the life lessons that she taught her children, grandchildren, friends, and students. 

 Reach past the grumpy countenance to find the person behind it. My mom had a private little game: how long would it take to get on “kissing terms” (as she called it) with people she met? She was pretty hard to resist, and even the most sullen security guard at the bank would break out into a sunny smile when they saw her.

 She would have had a rough time with the social distancing!

 Take the time to reach out to people. 

 Mom was a letter writer. She stayed in steady contact with older relatives and friends who were otherwise alone. If someone was ill, they would get a card or a call. 

 Take a moment to give positive feedback. So often people write notes to complain. My mom took the time to report a job well done. 

She had cancer in the last years of her life, and I remember going with her to her chemo appointment once when I was visiting home in Pittsburgh. 

She was hugged by everyone we encountered and knew most of the people by name. 

She brought seeds from her garden to share. 

 We were called back to get her blood drawn. 

The phlebotomist reached into her drawer to show me a letter that my mom had written to the facility, telling them how caring and skillful this woman was. She still had the letter, many years later. 

The valet parker pulled out a similar letter when we went down to get the car. Those letters meant a great deal. 

The fact they had been kept, rather than tossed, speaks volumes. 

 Wonder about things. Mom was known far and wide for her storytelling ability. She could have a roomful of energetic kids quiet and hanging onto her words within a moment. If she saw something odd, like a pair of shoes left at the playground, it would be fodder for a story. How did those shoes get there? Who left in such a hurry -- and why? You don’t have to follow a script. Her stories would take random and unexpected turns. No story was ever the same. There was always an underlying theme of kindness. 

 You CAN teach an old dog new tricks. My younger sister is a National Park Ranger. My parents took full advantage and turned most of their vacations into opportunities to visit the parks where Amy was working. Mom was exceedingly proud that for her 60th birthday she got her first pair of hiking boots. Stay active. When she could no longer go for walks, she did chair yoga or got on her stationary bike.

 Find a way to relax. She was a reader and read an assortment of genres, but she unashamedly plowed through the Harlequin romances. You know the ones with the shirtless, muscled, long haired Fabio types on the cover? Yep. Those. She always had one in her purse. I bought her a couple from her favorite author, and Amazon has never let me forget it. (if you ordered this, you also might like…..)

 Having a sense of humor is imperative. 

 Be self aware and recognize your own needs. 

 Mom was very social, but in her mid-adult years she realized that she needed to carve out some alone time. She became a morning person. She used to say that the dawn belonged to those who chose it. She relished her quiet time while the rest of us were still asleep.

 Get involved. Mom was the block watch captain. Her front porch was a popular gathering spot. It is also no surprise that she was the girl scout and brownie troop leader. She also became the go-to accompanist, playing piano for all sorts of school shows. Well after her retirement, you could find her helping neighborhood kids with their reading skills.

 Give your kids the opportunity to learn an instrument. Both of my parents were amateur musicians. I confess that I took it for granted that there was often chamber music going on in my living room. My mom thought that it was a special gift to play an instrument that could be part of an orchestra. I only learned piano. My older sister Marjie, played all sorts of things and sat next to my mom in the cello section for the local Gilbert and Sullivan troupe. (My dad sat right in front of them playing the violin.)

 Have a family pet (say yes to the stray that finds you.) Unless there are horrible allergies, let your children grow up with the love of a pet. My childhood house had cats, birds, fish and gerbils. Marjie attracted strays like a magnet (and still does), and somehow they were allowed to stay. 

 Don’t be a pushover. If you see an issue, say something or do something about it. Yours might be the voice that ultimately makes the change happen. Potholes? Speed bumps? Mom wasn’t shy about taking her letter writing to her congressman or newspapers, and oh by the way, the congressman and the mayor?... Kissing terms! 

 Vote. It was ingrained in me early that you should never skip an election, regardless of how insignificant the issues might be. Our right to vote is sacrosanct. Some of my earliest memories are accompanying my parents to the voting booth. When she was no longer able to get out of the house, she had an absentee ballot. 

 Be kind to the earth. Mom was an avid gardener. Her favorite plants were her “silver dollar” money plants. She would pass out the seeds to anyone with a garden. She also hated waste, She could spot potential treasure or art projects in the most mundane items. Egg crates, old calendars, etc. were never thrown away. My parents were recycling many years before it came into fashion. Of course this was a double edged sword when it was time to clear out the family home! There likely was an actual double edged sword in the basement...right next to the hoop skirt.

 “Don’t be too hard on yourself.” She was never too worried about perfection. Giving a good effort, rather than a successful outcome, was what mattered. “It is what it is, and you do the best you can” is a motto that I continue to live by. 

 In that vein, mom herself was, of course, not perfect. She could hold a grudge like nobody’s business. I can still hear her saying “When I turn off, I turn off.” No more kissing terms for THEM. 

 In an interesting twist, this was just as important of a lesson as all of the others. From it, I learned the importance of forgiveness. Releasing all the negative energy is something I find essential.

 Here is a lesson from me...turn the mad into sad, turn the anger into disappointment, bank any wisdom earned from the interaction, communicate as needed (or not), and then move on. It is my pleasure to forward her ripples of positive energy. The world is in dire need. 

 I asked my sisters, daughters and nieces to take a peek at this list to see if there was anything glaringly missing. Alana laughed out loud when she thought about the list she would have to make if she was creating her own “lessons from mom.” I did have a very specific list of “strong suggestions” for my girls that had a very different flavor than the list above. My list included:

 No getting on a reality tv show 

No taking a job that requires the wearing of a humiliating hat 

Don’t eat French onion soup on a first date

 When you are driving, make sure to check your blind spots 

Floss every day

 And a few other easily R (X?) rated suggestions that are not suitable for sharing in this venue! 

 What would your kids have on their list of ‘wisdom from you?