Solid Food post coming soon/Input welcome

 I am slowly working on writing a book.

It is not the book about the typical Nurse Judy topics, such as germs, fevers and common illnesses. Instead the subject is spirits and stories about inexplicable occurrences… stay tuned.

But I still enjoy writing my standard posts that might offer support to parents.

I am delighted to meet up with Dr. Ted on a regular basis so we can put our heads together and delve into different issues.

We are currently trying to create a thorough document that will help out any parent who is embarking on the solid foods journey.

Starting solids actually used to rank pretty low on my favorite things to talk about. When I was an office advice nurse, parents had so many questions about it and I never felt like I had enough time in the course of a standard 10 minute phone call to give them all the answers they were seeking. 

Ultimately, because the demand was so strong,  I started offering an hour-long solid foods class. The goal was to try to get parents to relax and to navigate through all the strong opinions and judgments when it comes to what to feed, when to feed and how to feed.

I stopped holding that class several years ago.

Since attending my class was no longer an option, parents have reached out to let me know that they searched my blog for a post on starting solids and haven’t found one. Alas, for the time being, that search still comes up empty. While there are some posts on specific topics, I never did one dealing with the basic ABC’s of feeding your baby.

There is just so much to say.

Now, thanks to Dr Ted’s encouragement, I look forward to adding a new document to my collection. We are in agreement that there is way too much stress about feeding your kids. We hope to alleviate some of that.

Grandparents, friends, and social media often have a list of RULES that can make folks spin around and worry that they must be doing something wrong.

Many people have very strong opinions. When I started doing research to build the curriculum for my class, I ran into someone at a Chinese Medicine clinic. When I told her what I was working on, she got very enthusiastic. She practically started to chant. LIVER, LIVER LIVER, is really all that babies need. It should be the first food for all kids. She practically followed me out of the office, yelling LIVER!

While indeed, offering kids liver might have some actual benefits, being exposed to such passionate thoughts about what is right and wrong is NOT my approach.

In fact, during my solids class I would tell a story about no matter how hard you try to be ‘perfect’, in most cases at some point your child was likely to eat something that was completely disgusting (and they survive).

In my case what comes to mind was the time our daughter Lauren shared a meal of meow mix cat food crunchies with a siamese cat named George.

How did I become aware of this? Because Sandy videotaped the interaction. (This was long before cell phones. He was holding a large camcorder. Times have changed.)

One for me/ one for you/another for me/another for you.

Oh, daddy. I surely would have put the camera down and redirected. Sandy defends himself by reminding me that we wouldn’t have that memory if he hadn’t continued recording.

(George the cat ended up becoming ours, but I digress.)

Dr. Ted is now the one trying to field all the questions about starting solids on a daily basis.

Just like we did several months ago with our long breastfeeding document , We are now looking at data and trying to come up with an easy to follow post that maps out our relaxed approach. We are lucky to have the wonderful designer Nancy Elle collaborating with us to make it easy to follow.

We will endeavor to answer all of the frequently asked questions.

When we did the breastfeeding post I put out a request for feedback and got some worthy responses. Some of these included their hard earned wisdom which we included and others requested topics that they wanted us to cover.

So I am once again turning to the hive mind…

For those of you who have successful eaters

• What are your best pieces of wisdom about solid foods that you would share?

• Are there any utensils, tools, apps that were valuable?

• What are the things you wished you knew before you started?

For those of you just starting out, are there any burning questions or concerns that you would like us to cover?

 I look forward to hearing any feedback you are willing to share!!!

With luck we will have a finished product in a month or so.

This photo is Coby, He is now six months and enjoying an assortment of foods.

How to educate your kids about germs/without freaking them out

 Germs are microscopic organisms that can cause disease, and are made up of bacteria, viruses, fungi, and protozoa. They exist in many places, including the air, soil, water, on our skin, and inside our bodies.

Minimizing exposure and risk are in everyone’s best interest, but having a discussion of things that are so tiny that they can only be seen with a microscope may be challenging for kids.

When educating kids about germs, it is important to strike the balance of knowledge, caution and empowerment. I asked my friend Brittany, who is a wonderful therapist to weigh in. 

It is in nobody’s best interest to have your child crippled from anxiety and terrified of these invisible monsters. Even in the best of times, over the years I have seen dozens of kids tormenting their parents as they went through germaphobic stages (that is the actual term!) Lady Macbeth had nothing on these kids as they would scrub their hands raw every time they came into contact with anything suspect.

Knowledge

Here are some kid friendly talking points 

• The world is full of tiny things that we can’t see without a microscope. This might be just the time to read Horton hears a Hoo! There are also loads of great age appropriate books to read specifically about germs. Brittany likes this book and it has the option of being read aloud Germs Make Me Sick! By Melvin Berger.

• Most of the tiny things, including many types of bacteria, are good and important. Some of the tiny things that we can’t see are called germs. These are not so good and are usually considered troublemakers.

• People aren’t generally impacted by germs unless they manage to get into our bodies. If they do get in, they can grow and spread. If you can stop them from getting in, you win!

• Have your kids figure out the openings in their body where the germs can enter; mouth, nose, eyes...maybe even a cut. A germ that gets into a cut can cause an infection, but most viruses are getting in through the face.

• Once the germs get into the body, they might make the person a tiny bit sick or very sick. Sometimes the person with the germs inside doesn’t feel sick at all but is still able to spread the germs to someone else. Germs are sneaky!

• If a sick person coughs, sneezes, sings or yells near you, you can breathe in the germs through your nose or your mouth. That is one way for the germs to get inside. 

• The longer you are near an infected person, the bigger the chance of breathing in their germs. Luckily the germs don’t stay in the air for too long. 

• Here’s a fun activity: Get out some bubbles and blow a few. Imagine that the bubbles are full of germs. Notice how they float for a while and then land and pop. Once the bubbles land, that surface now has the germs on it. If you touch it and then touch your face, that is another way that the virus has found a way in.

Actions/preventions

Hand washing is key

• It is important to be thorough. Don't forget fingers and  thumbs If you have long nails, make sure to get under them

• We should wash our hands for at least 20 seconds. Hum a song; your kids might have fun finding a favorite little ditty that helps them keep time. Happy Birthday is a popular one

• Running water is much preferred than a bowl of standing water, so that the bacteria gets washed away

• Water temperature doesn’t actually matter

• Damp hands can transfer way more germs than dry ones, so make sure to towel off or use an air dryer after washing.

• Hand sanitizer is not as effective as soap and water, but sometimes that is all you have available. Make sure you use enough to cover the hands, rub around for 20 seconds and make sure you let it dry.

 Other actions

• We should take off our shoes before coming into the house to prevent outside germs from tracking indoors 

• Teach your kids to cover coughs and sneezes. If there is no tissue handy, then cough into your elbow

• Avoid crowds when possible. If someone has any symptoms of illness, please consider wearing a mask when out in public. Mask wearing is a good way to protect you from being exposed. It is also an easy reminder  not to touch your face.

• Stay up to date with immunizations. When I would give shots I would explain to kids that I was putting magic protection into their body so that if certain bad germs got in, this could protect them

What do we do about thumb suckers?

Habits are hard to break.

Here is a link to an earlier blog post. 

As most of you know, nagging doesn’t work.

Talking about germs and doing some fun experiments, might be helpful tools to add to your arsenal

Do some fun experiments.

Glitter is a great example of how things easily spread. 

1. Do this outside (my niece Rose says that glitter is like the herpes of the art world)

2. A playground is perfect.

3. Put a little glitter on your hands

4. Set a timer and play on several pieces of equipment for about 10 minutes.

5. Get out a magnifying glass (it makes it more fun)

6. Retrace your steps and see if you can see little pieces of glitter

A little olive oil and cinnamon can show you the value of soap and water 

1. Mix some cinnamon or nice smelling spice in some olive oil.

2. Coat your hands with the substance. 

3. Now wash it off with just water, no soap. It becomes clear that the oil and scent are not going anywhere, you need a good scrub with soap to get your hands clean.

Soap can make things scatter

1. Get a bowl of water

2. Sprinkle in some black pepper

3. Stick your finger in the bowl and you might indeed see how some pepper sticks to the finger

4. Wipe the pepper off of the finger

5. Now rub some liquid soap on your finger

6. Stick the finger in the bowl and watch how the pepper scatters

You can see how cool this one is on this short video on youtube 

Bottom line

Brittany kindly reminds us that the point of this post is to educate and empower our children.  If you are dealing with a child that seems especially stressed about the existence of these microscopic threats, first validate that what they are feeling is perfectly alright.  Remind them that there are always things within and outside of our control. By focusing on the things within our control their big feelings will get smaller (see talking points above). 

If you’re a parent who gets the creepy crawlies just thinking about germs, your personal discomfort might contaminate the conversation. If that is the case see if you can pass on this particular task on to another trusted adult.

 

Forwarded this email? Subscribe here for more Back to School Adjustment tips Doing some preparation ahead of time can be very valuable and can smooth the way. When I was little, school started after Labor Day. It is hard for me to get used to the fact that August is now the month when many kids are going off to school. For some this is the first time. That’s a big deal. Doing some preparation ahead of time can be very valuable and can smooth the way. My regular readers have heard me repeat this analogy often. Being a parent is like being the coach of a sports team. The real work is the preparation before the game when you learn and practice the plays. More work can be done after the game when you review how your team fared and work on any changes that need to be made. During the actual game, you might be able to chime in to make little adjustments, but for the most part you simply get to watch. This is not the time to effect any real teaching or change. Recognizing the difference between “game time” and effective coaching opportunities is critical. Having your child march off to a new daycare or preschool or school is game time.  Some kids go off with a smile and wave; you win! This is Alana who on her first day of Kindergarten. She didn’t even spare us a backwards glance. Others weep and you need to pull them off your body as they clutch at you in desperation. Above is sweet EJ and his cousin. Neither happy on day one. You end up leaving them in their new situation feeling like you have somehow failed. Welcome to being a parent. You lost this round but there are many rounds ahead that will be more successful. Keep in mind that many of the kids are putting on a big show, and are feeling stressed and sad for the moment. Most of them calm down shortly after you are out of sight and end up having a fine day. You, on the other hand, will feel like you have a fist clenched inside your gut. Check in with the teachers for a reality check. They can tell you how your little one fared once you are out of the picture. Or do what Sandy did when he took Lauren to her first day of preschool. He left her crying with her new teachers and then went to the side of the building, hid in the bushes, and watched through the window. Lauren was fine in about 5 minutes but those were among the toughest 5 minutes of his life! The teachers should be an essential part of the team helping with this adjustment period. If you feel like your child might need a little extra help separating, talk to the staff about what options they can come up with. Sometimes a little extra loving attention can be very helpful One friend or familiar face can make a huge difference. Once school begins, ask your child to identify a few other children who seem nice. Reach out to those families and try to arrange some playdates outside of school hours. Social connection is so important.  In an ideal world, schools are a place where your child will be exposed to a people of different colors, cultures and genders. If you want to check it out, here is an old post: Talking to your child about differences Communication is so important! Create an arena where you and your child can have safe discussions about feelings and actions. This is a basic problem solving skill. Make a list of some of the more common feelings that people might be feeling when they start a new school: Happy Sad Nervous Excited Tired Hungry Lonely Missing home Confused Bored Proud I am feeling______________. You don’t need to limit it to one emotion. Identify some things, good and bad, that might be triggering the emotion: I learned something new I made a friend I helped someone Someone made a face at me Someone wouldn’t hold my hand Someone wouldn’t share I didn’t like my lunch I am scared of the toilet I am having trouble with a skill that others seem to be able to do with ease I am feeling ______________ because_______________ If the feeling expressed is a negative one - mad, sad, nervous, and you were able to identify a source, now is the time to make a list of possible things that might help. If you are able to do a family dinner, that is the perfect time for conversations. Otherwise it is fine to do this at bedtime, but try to carve out a time where you can talk about the day. This is a great opportunity to review tomorrow’s schedule and list any special things that are coming up that the family might be looking forward to. Telling stories and teaching through play are really good methods for talking about the feelings and coming up with solutions. Make up a pretend child who also happens to be going to a new school situation (what are the odds?) For this post we will call the pretend child Pat (the ultimate non gender identifying name). Pat can be the main character in many stories. Sometimes the right moment presents itself and your child might be able to chime in and talk about what they think might be making Pat happy or sad. For some children this feels much easier than talking about themselves. Practice saying goodbye. Do it several times. Read some nice back to school books:  Try some play sessions with a couple of dolls or stuffed animals; one is bravely heading off to school and proudly tells all about it after they are home. The other is having a much harder time. Talk about some things that may be tools that the brave bear is using or might help the scared bear. Maybe the bear tried: bringing something like a scarf that smells like home. wearing a necklace with a photo.  finding a little smooth round stone that you both rub some energy into and they can keep it in their pocket. writing a little heart or doodle on their arm and cover it with liquid band-aid..... Do they want to give one or more of those a try? Avoid the “How was your day? Fine” trap. Get in the habit of doing a little checklist. Tell me something you learned Tell me something that surprised you What was the silliest thing that happened? What did you do that was kind? Teach your child the concept of a Mitzvah This is the Jewish term for doing a good deed or act of kindness. Getting in the habit of at least one “mitzvah” a day is something to strive for. They can tell you how they did. Any simple kindness, counts. Other considerations Is your child up to date on their vaccinations and check ups? If you aren’t sure, call your doctor's office sooner than later to get things scheduled and make sure you have any needed health forms. One doctor who I used to work with shared a story from one of her friends. They had made quite the big deal of the first day of kindergarten and the child went in without a hitch. The trouble occurred that evening when the little 5 year old realized that this school business wasn't an isolated event and she had to go back the following day. It is essential that you make sure you are able to pick up your child on time, especially those first couple of weeks. If you are going to be late, have an alternate trusted adult who can be there. Make sure that the school has all of the current cell phone and emergency contact numbers. Lots of studies show that eating a healthy breakfast makes a big difference. Have a breakfast plan and clothes picked out the evening before to avoid stressful confrontations. Make sure your child is not overtired. Start bedtime early enough that they are getting the sleep they need. You never know when your child will decide to make transition to school a “thing”. Some children who never had issues will decide that this is the year to challenge you. Even if you are one of the lucky parents who’s intrepid child marches into their new situation without a backwards glance, it is perfectly normal for you to be deeply impacted by these milestones that signal the passage of time and that your child is growing older. Lauren reminded me of a cartoon that I used to have taped on the wall above my desk. It was a sketch of a doctor, a nurse, a mom and a baby. The baby was about to get a shot. The caption was “You had better hold her close, she might cry." The next frame was the nurse hugging the crying mom as the baby got the shot. Yes, this is likely to be just as tough on you as it is for your child!