Friday, April 23, 2021

Astrological Shenanigans

It is always somewhat interesting having a sister who dabbles in astrology.
 When I was nearing my due date with my first born Lauren, and my older sister Marjie suggested that I wait several days so that the moon would be in a better aspect, I gave her exactly the response (not suitable for this piece) that you would expect from someone who was more than ready to be done with pregnancy. 
 When Alana was born, Marjie didn’t bother trying to fine tune my timing, but she did predict from reading Alana’s chart that she would take her time with things getting started, but would master them quickly. 
 It was fascinatingly accurate. Using walking as an example. Alana waited until she was roughly 15 months old and took her first steps, carrying a chair across the room. Most of her milestones followed a similar pattern. 
 But for the most part, when Aunt Marjie came out with her predictions, we would lovingly roll our eyes. 
 I didn’t pay too much attention until 1998 after I had an especially irritating day. I had driven the carpool full of kids to school that day. We drove there without incident, but once we had arrived, there was smoke coming out from under the hood of my car. I called a tow truck, and Sandy, always the hero, left his office downtown to pick me up and drive me to work. On the way, I ended up spilling coffee on my lap, so I spent the rest of the day needing to explain to people that I had in fact NOT peed in my light colored pants. Then, to compound things, my wallet was stolen from my purse during lunch. Really??? 
 Once I got home and did all the calls cancelling credit cards and all the other hoopla that is required when you lose your wallet, I placed a call to Marjie. 
 “Is there something going on up in the planets that I need to know about"? 

It turns out that according to her charts, indeed there was. 
Uranus was transiting my Neptune...or something of that ilk. She went on and on trying to explain it, but I cut right to the chase.
 “Is it done?” 
 Alas, Marjie went on to tell me that this was somewhat of a figure eight situation that would happen again in several months. Of course that didn’t mean I would necessarily have any issues, these were just tendencies. Just tendencies or not, I asked her to please make a note of it and let me know when Uranus was going to be back to causing me trouble. 
 Life went on. Several months later, I got a call from Marjie. 
“Remember that business several months ago? Tomorrow might be tricky for you. I don’t think you should drive anywhere.” 
 The aggravation of that previous nasty day had been relegated to distant memory. 
“I don’t think the other carpool families would be happy with me if I opt out of my driving tomorrow.” “Do what you need to do, but make sure you have your cell phone charged and have your AAA card with you.” 

 Safe to say, I was back to being pretty dismissive all of this. The following day, I drove to school with all the kids and parked in the lot to do a bit of shmoozing with some of the other parents. Imagine the range of my emotions when I got back in the car and it wouldn’t start. You had to be kidding me! 
The emotion that won the battle was humor. I figured that I may as well just laugh at the absurdity. I had my phone and AAA card at the ready. 
 “What seems to be the problem?” 
 I couldn’t help myself and I actually answered, “It appeared that Uranus is transiting Neptune” 
 They laughed, Tow truck came, Shoulders shrugged. 
 Fast forward to this January when Lauren was due with my first grandchild; of course the charts came out. 
When Lauren went into labor, Marjie got very active in our family chat. The actual time of birth was going to be the fine tuning, but now that she was pretty clear on the date, she started with her predictions. 
 “He is a very wise soul that spent lifetimes in pursuit of knowledge. Mercury in proximity to the sun indicated strong mental abilities. He will be stubborn. He will be very generous. Saturn is squaring Mars. I am guessing that he will have a visible birthmark that could well be an indicator of a trauma from a past life” 
 Whoa. I went into a private chat.
 “Marjie..you need to hold off on all of this. Lauren is in active labor, I don’t know if she is checking her phone in between panting and blowing, but I don’t think this is helping.” 
 She kept the rest of her predictions to our private chat. It turns out that the baby does indeed have a little strawberry birthmark on his upper back, right behind his heart. Lauren wouldn’t let us tell her aunt...until now.  

Marjie, in honor of your birthday this week, we can let you know that once again, you got it right.

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