Friday, October 14, 2016

Managing stress

This post is short and simple, but hopefully it can give you a new awareness or way of looking at things.

My kids grew up having to deal with all of mom’s theories. One of the classics is the “stress theory”. My daughter Alana, who is now a therapist at a community mental health center in Michigan, finds herself referring to some of these with her clients.

She let me know that she used this one the other day and I realized that I had never put this one in a post. So here goes.

Is there a water bottle near by? Take a look at it, Imagine that you are that bottle. There is a thick label. You can not easily see how much liquid is inside. Elements of your life are varying amounts of fluid. Every aspect of your life adds liquid to the bottle.
Some things may add a few ounces, others only a tiny drop (drops can add up!) Being a sleep deprived parent is easily a couple of ounces. A new job? An illness in the family? Moving? Ounces! Large changes or stresses are of course equated to larger amounts.

We generally don’t pay too much attention to how full our bottle is until it is near the top.
The smallest drop of water, something that normally you could handle with no problem, may make the entire bottle overflow.

This is the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. Are you crying because you burnt your toast? Take a moment to figure out what is going on that has your bottle so full that the littlest thing can set you off.

One of Alana’s clients found that this way of looking at things really resonated with him.
He coined the term “dump the cup,” which in turn resonated with me.

What can you do to dump out your bottle a bit? Arrange a little time for yourself? Take a walk? Have the perfect cup of tea? Sometimes making a list of all the things you feel like you need to do helps quite a bit.

With your young kids, they can’t hold as much. Simply being tired or hungry will fill their little ‘bottle’ right up to the top. That’s when the temper tantrums and meltdowns happen.

Everyone who you interact with has their own stress level. It is good to keep that in mind if someone seems to be ‘overreacting’.

Are you past the sleep deprivation hell? Do you have a friend with a new baby? If you are thinking about giving a gift, consider skipping the outfit that the baby will grow out of in a minute. Give them a certificate or two that can be redeemed for a 2 hour nap while you watch the baby.

Helping your friends "dump their cup" feels pretty good.
 
 

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